Husband Watching Porn and Masturbating (you can't talk about that!)

    wife-finds-husband-watching-porn-and-masturbating.jpgShhh! Here's a topic nobody's comfortable talking about. But it's a reality for a lot of men and their partners. Women ask me all the time for help dealing with a husband watching porn and masturbating.

    Below is an email from a woman with a husband watching porn and masturbating. She's trying to understand what's going on with him, but he won't talk about it.

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    Can you relate to her or him?

    I've been married for almost 4 years now and my husband's watching porn and masturbating every time I left my house. As far as I know, he's stopped. Now he's saving photos of women on his computer in the same folder as the photos of myself that I took just for him. I've asked him to stop, he ignores the question and doesn't talk about it. My question is how do I get him to open up and talk about this with him because it is hurting me deeply." -Janice

    So Janice wants to know how to get her husband to open up and talk about watching porn and masturbating. Good luck! Actually, it is possible, but most likely she won't be able to do it without some help (women talk about porn and masturbating).

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    I would bet that this couple, like most of us, doesn't talk about difficult subjects. You know, like how they each spend money, overeating and their weight, or sex. At least most of us can't talk about these issues without it turning into a big fight and with nothing positive coming from it. So we just ignore and avoid them.

    If Janice and her husband can't talk about tough subjects, how are they ever going to talk about one of the most difficult? Start small. Janice needs to begin by starting to talk to her husband about the 'small' hard stuff, get some practice doing that before she tries to tackle the 'big' hard stuff.

    Do you think trust could be an issue for Janice and her hubby? I do. And it is for many couples. By starting with practicing communicating on the 'small' hard stuff, Janice and her husband can rebuild some trust that will help them tackle the 'bigger' hard stuff.

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    Sorry, Janice, but there's just not a quick and easy formula to deal with this. Here's some other bad news. Despite what you want to think, I bet he hasn't stopped watching porn - you're just deceiving yourself into believing that he has.

    If you've got a husband watching porn and masturbating, start 'small' too. Obviously it takes a lot more than this to solve the problem, but it's a great strategy to begin to make some progress communicating. And being able to communicate is the first place most of us get stuck.

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