What Do Women Think About Porn?

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    Part 3 of 3 on Porn for Women

    It’s no secret that many men enjoy and are turned on by porn. And when asked, and being honest, most men will tell you they don’t see a problem with porn. But what do women think about porn? What's your guess? Before you read any further, what would you say most women think about porn?

    As with men, women’s opinions about porn can vary, but there is a general consensus. So it shouldn’t be surprising that most women are less intrigued and accepting of porn overall. The overall effect of porn on women from a psychological perspective can be very detrimental.

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    What Real Women Think About Porn

    In the last 2 posts, we answered the questions: Do Women Like Porn? And Do Women Watch Porn? Now let's hear from some real women and find out what do women think about porn.

    Below are excerpts from the comments section of just one of our posts on porn, the majority of which are aimed at examining men and porn. In response to the post, Why Men Watch Porn, many women have written in to express their opinion and explain how porn makes them feel. Here is what just a few of those women think about porn and what it does to them when their husbands or boyfriends choose to watch it:

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    • "Porn makes me feel like I don't look good enough for him and that I don't please him so he has to go to that. I don't like it. I seriously work my butt off to stay in shape and being in the mood for him even when I am tired."
    • "It makes me feel horrible and I am a woman with a strong sex drive and I do many things that give him pleasure that many women wouldn't do. I feel as though I can't trust him although he says that he has never cheated on me."
    • "I just discovered he's lied to me our entire relationship that he looks at porn . . . he refuses to stop, he wants it to be just his thing, and also allow our sex life as a couple to dissolve. Will someone make sense of this for me. If I'm bending over backwards for more involvement with him, and he denies me of it and is continuing to be selfish and satisfy him self and only use me when he can't be alone to use porn, why should I stay?"
    • "By its very nature, porn is exploitative. I was told by my husband that if I had done to him the things he has done to me and our marriage with porn our marriage would be over. It's the he can, but I can't thing."

    What are you noticing about how these women think and feel about porn?

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    • "Last night while using his phone to look something up I found that he's been visiting several sites. It really hurt me that he shut me out of his fantasy. Especially since I ask him often about his wildest desires. I take pride in being a great girlfriend/wife. I'll pretty well do anything he asks. Hell, I've lost 40 lbs in 2 months and started being more seductive. Why couldn't he just be honest with me? Why hide it? Why lie about it?"
    • "My boyfriend . . . still refuses to stop buying it even though he clearly knows how much it upsets me. It is, for me anyway, a situation of being with a man who shows little to no respect for women, not even the one he claims to love and I believe it is the same for many others who have that problem with their partners."
    • "Men looking at pornography in secrecy is disrespectful to their partner. . . I feel betrayed, because all my efforts to achieve something significant for our life is not reciprocated. I feel alone in my relationship."
    • "My boyfriend looks at porn every night when he's at work. I'm trying to get use to the fact that he watches it but I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough, I'm not sexy enough, my breasts aren't big enough."
    • "I have not mentioned that I know he still abuses porn. I don't know what to do. I love my husband so much but I really can't deal with the reality that I am not enough. That he doesn't love me enough to stop. I'm hurt, I'm pissed and I'm confused."
    • "I was soo hurt that I want to walk away. I told him how i felt and he accused me of being insecure and ignorant. He doesn't see what he is doing as hurtful. I don't know what to do because I feel that I am not what he truly wants."

    See any themes here?

    The Truth About How Porn Makes Women Feel

    So how do women feel about porn? These women make it very clear that they feel it's selfish and dishonest among other things. Porn makes them feel like they’re not good enough for their partner and not important enough. They feel betrayed, hurt and angry.

    The impact of porn on a woman’s self-esteem can be devastating. Not to mention the effects it has on the trust and intimacy in a relationship. While many men may feel that porn is a victimless activity, many women will tell you differently.

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    Read the first 2 posts in this series (links are in the Related Articles section below) and you'll know this isn't what all women think about porn. But these comments by far represent how the majority of women we work with and hear from at Guy Stuff think and feel about porn.

    You can read even more comments about porn from women on these popular posts: Why Men Watch Porn, What Average Guy Porn Addictions Look Like, A Guy Confesses He's Addicted to Porn.

    What do you think about porn? Please share your thoughts with others below.

    Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 21, 2012 and has been updated with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

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