Is Porn Bad For You . . . Really?

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    6 Min Read

    Contents

    Part 2 of 3

    It's natural for men to want to look at women, right? Yes, it is. Men like to look at women, whether they'll admit to it or not, and especially naked women. Thus the popularity of porn. Which begs the question - is porn bad for you? Yes, it is.

    But how can porn be bad if it's just a way to do something that comes naturally?

    That's a very good question. Let's look at some real-life stories about porn users to learn how porn can be damaging.

    DOES YOUR PARTNER MEASURE UP? TAKE THIS QUIZ AND FIND OUT

    Below are a few excerpts of submissions we've received from women whose partners watch porn. Following each story, I'll give some feedback and explanation for each situation. If you're asking if porn is actually bad for you, hopefully these people's stories will help you see how it can take a natural desire and healthy relationship and change them in ways that are unhealthy.

    How Porn Is Bad For You

    I just have a little concern about my boyfriend. He is a very nice man, very honest to everything, he never keeps secret to me. He told me from the start of our relationship that he loves to look women, and he never care even I'm with him in public. And every time we are having sex it's hard for him to cum without watching porn. The porn is on every time we are having sex. And he never cum to me, he always wants to have a blowjob. It bothers me too much. What should I do? I LOVE HIM. But he doesn't think porn is really that bad. He always says to me porn is just like a dildo, it's not a big deal. Tried to ignore his habits but its killing me inside. I never had a man who is very obsessed with porn. This is something that very different to me. Maybe something wrong with me. We love each other, but sometimes when I think about it, its drives me crazy, its killing me inside. We have talked about it and he always tells me don't worry too much about it because he loves me. But I need advice." -Evelyn

    FIND OUT IF YOUR PARTNER IS HAVING A MIDLIFE CRISIS

    Still asking is porn bad for you?

    One of the ways porn is bad is that it changes how we get aroused. As men watch more and more porn it can take longer for them to be stimulated. They become desensitized to seeing just one naked woman, and now need to see many naked women, or something new sexually in order to become excited.

    Masturbating almost always accompanies porn viewing. Excessive masturbation changes what sensations create arousal and this results in men who look at porn often requiring more stimulation than they used to or is normal. This leads to intercourse no longer being sufficient to orgasm. It can also cause porn induced erectile dysfunction (ED).

    Still thinking that porn isn't that bad for you? Keep reading.

    What Porn Does To You Makes It Not Good

    I have been married for six years now. And we had a small separation, but tried to fix it. I realized that he almost never wants to have sex, but in the evening it is so bad he would just sit next to me and something in his pants would say hello. Then one day I took his phone and saw that he was and still is watching porn, but funny weird porn. And 2 weeks back I was shocked because he was also looking at gay porn and games. So can you help me with that?" -Rachel

    Hmmm..does Rachel's situation sound healthy?

    I know my husband is a watcher of porn. I didn't know he watched man on man porn. Is this a normal thing for men to do? -Ainsley

    IS YOUR PARTNER CHEATING? LEARN HOW TO KNOW

    It's not normal for most men, but it's common for men who watch porn regularly to have their sexual interests broadened immensely. Sexuality that they never previously had any interest in can become intriguing because of the effect and exposure to porn. I've counseled men and their partners where the guys have pursued anal sex, threesomes, swinging, and even rape of their partner because of the influence of porn.

    Still doubting is porn bad for you?

    Porn Changes You In Bad Ways

    My husband of 7 years has been using porn early before work to "release". He spends a good 25-30 minutes pleasing himself then wakes me up to help get him ready for work. I told him this bothers me because many times when he finally comes home from being away for work I want some sex and he says he's tired. I'm just so annoyed that this crap its ALWAYS on his phone. Everyday at least 8-11 different internet pages. This is what he had to say about all this: "it is not an issue, I need it to wake up, it feels nice, I'm not looking for anyone woman on here in particular, I just enjoy the silly bad acting cheesy skits." He doesn't believe porn is harmful. What makes me more upset is the further details on his sexual issues like: He has on many occasions followed females to watch their see-through clothes, skirts go up and he has even video recorded these women. He has even wrote (emailed) to some woman's Craigslist sex ad. And I saw all of this and he said he is soooo sorry and will not do it again. And took a very long time to delete these videos. Some are probably still on his phone. This hurts me, I told him this, and it hurt a million times more when I was pregnant. I'm to the point that I don't know what to do. He says he loves me dearly, does everything to make a good life for me and our child. He says I'm sexy and is so attracted. But he will just never stop no matter what I do." -Steph

    As we've seen in the previous stories, porn is bad for you because it changes a person in unhealthy ways. While Steph's husband wants to believe his porn viewing is innocent enough, the truth is that it's led him into increasingly riskier (and potentially criminal) behavior. He illustrates one of the biggest lies about porn, that it's normal and harmless, when in reality it slowly and deceptively leads us down a destructive path and we don't even see it.

    IS THE LOVE MISSING? FIND OUT HOW TO GET IT BACK

    Is Porn Still Bad If Your Partner Watches It Too?

    Yes, porn is bad for you – whether you’re a man or a woman, whether you watch it alone or together.

    Most women have absolutely no interest in the porn men watch. A few do though. But unless porn’s become an addiction for these women they don’t watch with the same frequency as men. Other women can have an interest in a different type of porn often referred to as ‘Mommy Porn.’

    Many of you guys may be saying, “Hold on – if my woman wants to watch porn then we’re watching!”

    I’ve found in my years of counseling couples about porn that many women agree to watch porn with their partner to make him happy. As the saying goes, ‘They go along to get along.’ It’s a compromise many women will make because they don’t fully understand how doing so hurts their relationship.

    Porn changes you – both men and women.

    • You start to find you’re not quite enough for him or her anymore.
    • You partner becomes desensitized to the normal routes of sexual arousal and requires more and more stimulation in order to achieve orgasm (can happen to him or her).
    • Their interests may begin to wander. His or her desire for new and different sexual experiences could lead to damaging choices like cheating or an emotional affair as he or she tries to satisfy new curiosities.

    What was an intimate experience between two loving partners can becomes corrupted. The result will be a breakdown in closeness and dissatisfaction in your relationship.

    DOES YOUR PARTNER SAY HURTFUL THINGS? LEARN HOW TO MAKE THEM STOP

    No matter how you look at it porn doesn’t promote a healthy relationship, greater trust, stronger love, or true intimacy with your partner. So, is porn really bad for you? Yep, it certainly is.

    This discussion exploring the question, is porn bad for you, is the second of 3 articles examining porn use. The first article provided help for a porn addiction by looking at how it can become addictive. In the next and final article we'll discuss the ways porn hurts the women in men's lives. My hope is that by showing you the effects porn has on the lives of other's you can learn to make some different choices in your life.

    Editor's Note: This post was originally published January 28, 2016 and has been updated with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

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