Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
"Addicted to porn? No way!" Jason told his wife. Even though porn has been a regular part of his life for as long as he can remember, Jason never considered himself addicted to porn. He just never saw it as a problem.
The truth is most men who are addicted to porn are like Jason and don't see it as a problem. As a result, they don’t realize that they have an addiction either.
Jason wondered how could porn be a problem when every guy he knows looks at porn? But now that he’s married, it’s become a big, big problem because it's causing issues in his marriage. Before he was married it didn’t seem like a big deal, but his wife has a different view. With the help of Guy Stuff he now sees the affect his porn habit is having on his wife and marriage, and that he really is addicted to porn.
Jason was in the Army for 8 years, much of it overseas, and has been out for a little more than 2 years. He says in the Army everyone looks at porn. A lot of wives and girlfriends would even email homemade porn of themselves to their soldiers.
Because viewing porn was so common and readily available it didn’t seem like there was anything wrong with it. And no one was getting hurt, right? After all, he was thousands of miles away from his wife without any outlet for sexual release. Watching porn was just the accepted thing to do to compensate and pass the time.
Jason’s interest in porn, however, went from a pastime to a habit to a full-fledged addiction without his even realizing it. After returning to the states, and even after getting married to a woman he loves, porn remained a regular part of his life. And just like in the Army he considered it normal.
For Sheri, Jason’s wife of 16 months, porn didn’t seem normal or okay. She says it makes her really, really upset. It makes her feel insecure too. She even has nightmares about Jason being with other women because of the porn. Ironically, Sheri’s a former model. (Learn What Women Think About Porn)
Despite having a very attractive wife, Jason continued to view porn. Being addicted to porn has caused a huge trust problem between he and Sheri. He’s told her repeatedly that he would stop looking and hasn’t. As a result, she’s suspicious and distrusting of almost everything he tells her.
And Jason’s porn viewing has put a strain on their intimate life as well. Sheri feels like she's constantly being compared to the women Jason sees in the videos he watches. He’s never told her that, but knowing that he gets aroused watching them and hasn’t given up his habit just reinforces her suspicions. In Sheri’s view it’s like having other people a part of their marriage and that feels like cheating.
The stress and strain from the conflict in his marriage finally got to be too much for Jason and it brought him to Guy Stuff to find some solutions. He wanted to have a healthy and happy relationship with Sheri, and most of all to save his marriage. Jason could see that watching porn was causing more and more disconnect between them. Sheri was increasingly saying she couldn't do this anymore and he was worried she was finally going to separate and then it would be too late.
He finally decided he didn't want to watch porn anymore, and realized the fact that he hadn’t been able to stop on his own probably meant he really was addicted to porn. Sure Jason still liked porn and wished he could watch it, but knew he had to choose between porn or his marriage. And he wanted to choose Sheri.
Jason just needed help on how to follow through on his decision to fix his marriage. He wanted to learn more about how to use a porn safety plan he’d read about on our website and he wanted to rebuild trust with Sheri. So that's what we've worked on, in addition to helping him learn how porn is much more complicated than just getting a sexual release.
Jason’s made huge progress in stopping his porn addiction. With Guy Stuff’s help he hasn’t viewed porn in months. He has a safety plan in place that Sheri’s a partner in. With his taking these steps she’s starting to trust him a little more each day. Their marriage is getting stronger too. Being addicted to porn doesn't have to mean the end of your relationship - it can also mean the beginning of a new chapter.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 19, 2012. It has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Wondering if Porn Is Cheating? Find out what psychology experts say about whether Porn Is Cheating.
Breaking a porn addiction isn’t easy. Learn how to handle relapses here.
© 2025 Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching, APC, All Rights Reserved.
Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Do Not Sell or Share My Information
Featured logos are trademarks of their respective owners.
I have caught my husband so many times with porn and every time he has an excuse or why am I bringing this stuff up again. Especially if I have a gut feeling. The hardest part of it all is that I hate what all of this has done to me. For almost a year he tried to tell me he just wasn't into sex anymore he was getting older. He was having erecting issues and not being able to have an orgasm. But once I found out about the porn and how much everyday. When he acts like I'm making a big deal I said to him you tried to make me think you weren't into sex for almost a year only to find out you were masturbating everyday looking at other women. I have felt ugly, alone, depressed, I have anxiety attacks and went through a period albeit a short one were I put spyware on his phone. He has been going out of his way to have sex with me at least once or twice a week . Only to keep me from thinking he is still looking at porn. My gut kept telling me he was. He kept leaving his phone laying around. I looked of course nothing except he forgot to delete a video from his Facebook activity. I thought he might have another phone. Portable dvd player . He works alone. His boss on him about why it's taking so long for him to get things done. Well tonight he asked me to get his phone for him. I hit Internet icon. Up popped a screen that read your new secret browser. I handed it to him, he of course said he knew nothing about it. Then acts like I should believe him. I'm so done. I am a Jehovahs witness and the only scriptural grounds for divorce is adultry. I know he is on Skype and twitter and messaging other women. I did tell him that if he keeps on this path he is going to make a mistake that is going to cost him all he has. 1
Debbie, how did you put SpyWare on his phone?
If your single and watching porn well duh it's going to end up in the relationship when you have one. That's an excuse. There's scientific proof that watching porn when your single means you'll watch it in a relationship. It's a problem regardless. Who the f#$k do you think you are to advise these poor women and give them hope.