If You Think Your Boyfriend Is Addicted To Porn Ask These 5 Questions

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Contents

Is Porn A Normal Guy Thing Or An Addiction Problem?
What A Porn Addicted Boyfriend Looks Like
Takeaways When Your Boyfriend Is Addicted To Porn
FAQs

You see porn on your boyfriend’s phone. So, you ask him about it. He tells you he doesn’t know where it came from. You believe him and move on.

A month later you see porn on his phone again. You tell him you don’t like it and he says a friend sent him a link he shouldn’t have clicked on. Sounds understandable, so you drop it, but you start to wonder if he’s really being honest.

Which leads you to ask yourself – “Is my boyfriend addicted to porn?”

A few weeks later you decide to check his phone and there it is again. WTH?! You get mad and tell him it really bothers you that he’s looking at naked women. He says he’s sorry and won’t do it again. You don’t know if you can believe him.

This a common scenario in millions of relationships.

Is Porn A Normal Guy Thing Or An Addiction Problem?

Most girlfriends don’t know what to think and feel when they find porn on their boyfriend’s phone.

Alarmed?
Hurt?
Be okay with it?

Almost all of them are surprised, or even shocked.

I often hear,

I know guys look at porn, but I thought he was different.”

Looking at porn is a common guy behavior, but normal, as in harmless – no, it’s not.

Porn causes problems for the guy who watches it, and for his partner and their relationship.

Guys can become obsessed with porn. Watching –

Changes his sexual interests and desires.
Steals more and more time.
Feeds secrecy and dishonesty as it’s usually kept hidden and denied.
Inhibits real sex as it often replaces it.

For partners porn causes them to question –

Is he really attracted to me?
Does he want to be with someone else?
Is he going to cheat on me?

All of the above are just the beginning of the negative ways porn affects him and you. Unfortunately, much of our culture minimizes and denies these truths.

What A Porn Addicted Boyfriend Looks Like

Ok, so watching porn causes problems, but how do you know when your boyfriend has become addicted to porn?

Usually by the time you’re asking yourself this question porn has already become an addiction for him (typically it was before he even met you).

What should you be looking for?

Commonly partners look to find out –

What has he looked at?
How much?
How often does he look?
Has he saved porn anywhere?

All important questions, but you’re not likely to find out the true answers.

Here are 5 questions you can answer.

Is his behavior different or odd?
Is he secretive with his phone? Does he take it into the bathroom? Keep it beside him all the time? Do you know the password?
Does he get defensive or angry if you ask him what he’s looking at on his phone?
Is he less interested in sex with you? Or, more?
Does he make unusual sexual requests? (“We should try a threesome.”)

Here’s what one boyfriend’s porn addiction looks like –

This is a new thing for me as I have never asked anybody this. I need to know if my boyfriend is addicted to porn. We have been dating for 2 years. I do love him without a doubt. The thing is when we met his computer was full of porn, like stuff that made me sick to my stomach. He even was on a phone group with his friends that was called ‘lovers' and they sent each other porn the whole day, not one pic, too much to even count. When we were hanging out with his friends they would brag about it and he would say stuff like ‘I couldn't concentrate on my work today with the amount of boobs I saw.’” -Erica

Most girlfriends don’t find what Erica found on her boyfriend’s computer. That doesn’t mean their boyfriends don’t have a porn addiction they’re hiding, they just don’t know about it yet.

Takeaways When Your Boyfriend Is Addicted To Porn

Keep these things in mind –

Watching porn is common for most men, but it’s also a problem. Unfortunately, most couples don’t understand how damaging it is to their relationship.

Porn can easily become an addiction. It’s like a drug and research shows that it’s as addictive as cocaine.

A porn addiction can be identified partly through behavior changes, such as phone use and secrecy, desire for sex, or new sexual interests.

What’s most important is not whether or not your boyfriend is addicted to porn, but if he is watching porn, addicted or not, is how to help him stop so your relationship isn’t damaged (see how in the FAQs below).

FAQs

How do I get my boyfriend to stop looking at porn?

There are a couple of common mistakes girlfriends make in trying to get their guy to stop watching porn. You’ve got to learn how behavior changes and the proper way to use the power you have. Check out this article to see what to do and not to do.

Will I ever be able to trust my boyfriend again about watching porn?

Yes, but it requires effort, change, and time. And these are required by both of you. Too often I see hurt partners stuck in self-protection mode so they won’t get hurt again who don’t take the necessary steps to be able to trust again.

Got a boyfriend who could be addicted to porn? Tell other readers what that looks like and get their opinion.