Are There Signs He May Be Cheating Again?

3 Min Read

Contents

The Most Common Signs Of Repeat Cheating
Takeaways Regarding The Signs He May Be Cheating Again
FAQs

We’ve all heard the proverb, ‘Once Bitten Twice Shy.’. The band Great White even had a notable hit in the ‘80s with that name.

Proverbs and ‘80s hair bands aside, if he cheated once it’s natural to be concerned that he’ll cheat again. Recognizing the signs is a different ballgame, however.

Rebuilding trust isn’t easy. It takes time – often a lot of time – and effort and it can be easy to think everything he does is a sign he’s cheating again. But not every late night or early morning text is a sign he’s cheating again.

However, while it’s important not to jump to conclusions, it’s also important to be aware of red flags and true signs he may be cheating again.

But how do you tell the difference between overblown worries and real signs that history is repeating itself?

The Most Common Signs Of Repeat Cheating

True red flags of cheating generally fall into a couple of categories. Yes, there can be others, but when you’re trying to decide if he’s cheating again or if you’re jumping at shadows, it’s important to step back and look at things as impartially as possible.

Dr. Kurt recommended this,

There are two common responses to the possibility of being cheated on again. First, that you're too suspicious and reactive. Second, that you ignore the signs. Both are driven by the desire not to be hurt again. Unfortunately, both aren't helpful or effective, and can actually contribute to cheating repeating."

Of course, each situation is different, which means the signs he’s cheating again can vary, but if you’re seeing the following, you’re right to be concerned.

Note: If he is actually cheating again, you may have seen some of these behaviors the first time around. But it’s also possible he’ll use new strategies for hiding things if he was caught before. So, try to look at behaviors with as much objectivity as possible.

Unusual changes in behavior

A clear red flag of potential cheating is abrupt or unusual changes in behavior. These can include,

Strange changes in his work schedule that seem implausible or are outside the norm, such as new travel requirements or late nights.
New uses of his free time that doesn’t make sense, like a sudden interest in art history or the local rowing club.
Increased need for privacy, especially when it comes to his phone, or a new phone that’s “work issued.”
New concern about grooming or attention to style. For example, a sudden desire to wear cologne or iron his shirts might be worth keeping an eye on.
Changes to intimacy. A lack of desire for sex or, conversely, a new interest in sex or burst of creativity could be a red flag.

Truly, any shift in behavior without a clear explanation is important to better understand, particularly if it’s reminiscent of when he cheated the first time.

Emotional distance

Another area where repeat cheating can raise a red flag is in emotional connection. This area generally takes a big hit when someone is cheating, either because they’re distracted or feeling guilty.

If you notice a,

Sudden loss of interest in you or your daily life together.
Lack of empathy for your worries or bad days.
Pattern of forgetfulness regarding events or special occasions.
Lack of enthusiasm for your shared activities or plans.

Or,

Love bombing. If your frugal, minimally romantic guy is bringing you jewelry for no reason and telling you how amazing you are, maybe it’s fine – but maybe it’s not.

These could be signs he’s cheating again. When people are splitting their attention or feel guilty about their behavior, they often pull away from a partner or loved ones.

Communication breakdown

Communication patterns can also offer insight as to whether he may be cheating again.

Ask yourself,

Is he avoiding conversations?
Does it seem like he’s dodging your calls or not responding?
Is he aloof and distant?
Has he become defensive when questioned about his behavior?
Does he refuse to talk about your relationship or the future?
Is he arguing with you a lot more?

If you answered ‘yes’ to one, two, or all of these questions, it’s worth looking more closely at what’s going on.

Note: If he’s cheated before it’s VERY easy to confuse these signs with proof. But these aren’t conclusive proof that he’s cheating again – there can be other, legitimate explanations for his behaviors.

To really understand if he’s cheating, you’ll need to have a direct, open, and honest conversation with him about your concerns and what you’re seeing and then evaluate the answers you get.

If he’s not cheating and truly concerned about your relationship, he should be willing to listen to your worries, show empathy, and offer a clear and understandable explanation for what you’re seeing.

Takeaways Regarding The Signs He May Be Cheating Again

Recurrent cheating often follows a pattern. As much as a serial cheater may try to cover his tracks and keep his behavior “normal,” in nearly all cases, they just can’t.

When you've experienced his cheating before, you'll have a heightened awareness and intuition about what’s happening.

So, if you’re seeing,

Unexplained absences
Contradictions in his stories
Behaviors you can’t quite explain

Trust your gut and question what’s going on. Red flags shouldn’t be ignored, no matter how much you may want to.

Ignoring the signs he may be cheating again can lead to emotional turmoil and heartache for you. And if he’s not cheating again, he should be understanding of your concerns and want to put your fears to rest.

FAQs

If he cheated once does that mean he'll cheat again?

No, not always. Cheating can be a mistake that happens once and isn't repeated. But cheating is also a sign of other issues in the relationship, so the best way to cheat-proof your relationship is to address issues and continually work together to keep it healthy and strong.

Will the signs he's cheating again be the same as when he cheated the first time?

Not necessarily, if he's a serial cheater he may be more careful or change his behavior to hide his deception. If you're gut's telling you there's something off, it's important to evaluate what you're seeing as impartially as possible.

What should I do if I think he's cheating again?

The best thing to do is talk to him and express your concerns about what you've seen. When he's cheated before it's easy to jump to conclusions. If he isn't cheating yet you find yourself constantly worried that he will cheat again, relationship counseling can be very helpful in rebuilding communication and trust.