Part 2 of 3 on Porn for Women
OK, all the men are dying to know -- do women watch porn? For many men there is something very appealing about the idea of a woman watching porn – especially if they can do it together.
Well guys, yes, some women do watch porn. However, in my counseling experience the majority of women do not, and these women have no interest in doing so either. And the ones that do are usually interested in porn that’s very different from what most men have in mind. Sorry guys.
But that doesn’t mean that porn isn’t a factor in many women’s lives and relationships. In fact, you might be surprised at the role that porn can play in a woman’s life and the reasons some women watch porn.
Women Watching Porn – Yes, It Happens
Watching porn is typically seen as a man’s habit, not a woman’s. We don’t think of women usually watching porn or developing a porn addiction and this is for good reason – most women don’t.
But that’s not to say that women don’t watch. They just typically watch for different reasons than men.
Here are a few of the reasons why some women watch porn:
- Accommodate the desires of the man in their life. Many women mistakenly put their own feelings and desires aside and accept watching porn to try to make their man happy. They view it as something they need to do in order to satisfy their man and prevent what they fear will happen next – him cheating . So, despite what many women describe as repulsion, they watch porn with their partner out of a sense of necessity.
- Understand why men watch porn. Men as a whole seem to have a fascination with and easy acceptance of pornography. And a lot of women really want to understand their man more, why he does what he does, why porn is so appealing to him, what he finds attractive, and if there are sexual acts that they need to perform to keep him happy. So, they’ll watch porn to try to find out.
- Peer pressure. Our culture has made watching porn normal and removed nearly all of the negative views that once surrounded it. Movies, music, and advertising have all incorporated pornographic images and references these days as a result. As a result, finding it distasteful and expressing a problem with these things can feel like you’re going against the grain and will be judged as a prude, unimaginative, or uncomfortable with sexuality. So, some women watch and accept porn because they feel like they have to in order to appear “normal.”
- Sexual pleasure. There are women who watch porn for the same reasons men do - visual stimulation, sexual arousal, and release. Both men and women respond to visual stimulation, but what they want to see and the reasons they want to see it can be quite different. While men want typically to see graphic sexual images, women tend to prefer more suggestive and sensual imagery. That being said, women who openly enjoy porn are still a minority.
- Lack of knowledge about the negative effects of porn brings with it. Porn can negatively affect both men and women. It’s not the harmless pastime that many men will claim. Porn distorts our thinking about sex, leading to unrealistic expectations, dissatisfaction in healthy sexual relationships, feelings of inadequacy, and, in some cases, abuse. Most people don't know this or realize how damaging porn is to them, however.
- Unhealthy understanding of sex. Many women have had negative sexual experiences that have altered their view of sex. Some of them are aware of this, but many are not. An unhealthy view and understanding of sex can contribute to a desire to watch porn for both women and men, and make true intimacy nearly impossible.
To better understand women and porn, be sure to read the last post, Do Women Like Porn?
Should Women Watch Porn?
Let’s be clear – porn isn’t a healthy habit for men or women. Yet because it’s so readily accessible and seemingly harmless, many people figure, why not watch?
The problem is the affects of porn on the brain are similar to that of many narcotics. By igniting the pleasure centers in the brain, porn can cause the same euphoric response and lead to the same kind of addiction as drugs. And just like a drug, you’ll need more and more porn to become aroused, more explicit content, and eventually you’ll find you’re unable to perform sexually without it.
Although you can’t overdose on porn the same way you can on something like Heroin, you can cause long-lasting psychological damage that can make normal, healthy sexual relationships very difficult.
So back to the question, “Do women watch porn?” Yes, some do, but the reasons why they do are varied, and just because they do doesn’t make watching porn right or good for them. Remember, a lot of people unknowingly do stupid things that aren't good for them.
In the next and last post on the topic of women and porn we’ll hear what women think about porn in their own words.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 14, 2012 and has been updated with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Looking for More? Check Out These Articles
- Do Any Women Like Porn? (Part 1)
- What Do Women Really Think About Porn? (Part 3)
- You're Having No Sex With Your Partner And It's Effecting Your Marriage
- Get More Help with a Porn Addiction