Do All Men Want A Younger Woman?

man-looking-at-younger-woman

3 Min Read

Contents

Does He Want Me Or Barbie?
What Men Want In A Partner
Takeaways About All Men Wanting A Younger Woman
FAQs

You left your phone in another room, so you grab your husband’s to look up the address of the restaurant for the party tonight. And you discover that he left a screen open to a porn site he was browsing.

You’re shocked!

For many reasons.

One of them being how young the women are that he was looking at.

Your mind starts to race thinking about the possibility that your man wants a younger woman.

Another version of this that I hear about regularly is that you stumble upon his Instagram page and see that he’s following and liking bikini models – who are like, what, 15?

Or, you know he looks at other women when you’re out in public. And the ones he looks at look very different from you.

So, do all men want a younger woman?

Let me tell you what I’ve learned in my 22+ years of counseling men.

Does He Want Me Or Barbie?

Honestly?

Probably a little bit of both.

Let’s pause to clarify our word choice.

Does he notice or want?

Most of the women I talk to think their man wants a younger woman.

Why do they think this?

Because of the situations I described above where they’ve seen that he looks at them.

But another factor is that an underlying fear for many women, especially as they age, is that their man will want to replace them. And, of course, with a younger woman.

But noticing and wanting are two very different things.

Yes, most men will notice a younger, fit woman. However, that doesn’t mean that all of them want to turn their life upside down to replace their partner with her. Many have enough self-control and perspective to recognize that going down that road is a bad idea.

But not all of them.

There is a percentage of men who also want a younger woman, and have convinced themselves that’s what will make them happy. As a result, an affair is often part of a midlife crisis.

Me and my husband have argued over his obsession of looking at younger women. It makes me feel so belittled when he does this, like I'm not enough for him because the women he usually stares at are in there 20s and 30s and half naked. He’s 62. We argue constantly and he has talked down to me to his family and friends, turning everything around and making me look bad to them. I'm at my end to where I just want to leave, and let him find a younger woman to make him look good.” -Crystal

What Men Want In A Partner

A famous television commercial from the early 80s for the perfume, Enjoli, sums it up well –

“Cause I’m a woman…I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man…and if it’s lovin’ you want, I can kiss you and give you the shivers…”

However, what some men want from their partner isn’t realistic.

In counseling men I often find that men’s sexual expectations don’t fit their stage in life. Here are a few –

We should be having sex 3 times a week. While their partner is 7 months pregnant or nursing an infant every 2 hours.
You should initiate sex and make me feel desired. While their partner is carrying the majority of the household and childcare load and is exhausted.
We never try anything new. While they place all the responsibility for making that happen on their partner.

Sex isn’t supposed to look like it did when we were 20 when we’re 50. But the majority of men think it should.

Why do some men want a younger woman?

Because they –

Haven’t matured sexually
Do things that feed lust (Social media, gaming, and porn are the most common contributors)
Define their identity and happiness through their sexuality

There’s so much more to value about a partner and relationship than sex. Sadly, a lot of men have let themselves become brainwashed into put too much importance on sex.

Fortunately, this brainwashing can be undone.

Takeaways About All Men Wanting A Younger Woman

Remember the difference between notice and want.

Nearly all men notice a younger, fit woman, but most don’t want her.

A lot of men need to mature sexually. And most don’t realize it until it’s pointed out and explained how it hurts them by a doctor like myself.

Does your man want a younger woman? When you strip away all of the outside influences, I doubt it. But that doesn’t that mean he probably needs to change some things about his behavior, thinking, or expectations.

FAQs

How big of risk it that he will leave me for a younger woman?

It depends on the guy. For most men, it’s not likely. But that doesn’t mean that an inappropriate relationship can’t start that hurts you, damages your relationship, and puts it at risk.

Is a man checking out other women really harmless?

No, it’s not. But it also doesn’t mean he wants to leave you and be with her. The behavior is disrespectful to you and can lead to other forms of looking that damage your relationship and intimacy, and so he should learn how to stop.

Worried your man wants a younger woman? Please share your experiences and why you're concerned.