3 Red Flags Your Relationship Is At Risk For Power Abuse

3 Min Read

Contents

Red Flags That Your Relationship Is At Risk Of Power Abuse
Takeaways About The Red Flags Of Power Abuse
FAQs

No one gets into a relationship expecting to be controlled by their partner. However, an inequitable power dynamic can be a slippery slope into controlling and abusive behavior.

If there’s been a power shift in your relationship, there can be warning signs that one partner is pushing the limits of healthy give-and-take and becoming too controlling.

Knowing the red flags for power abuse in your relationship can help you nip things in the bud and either right the ship, get the help you need, or move on.

Red Flags That Your Relationship Is At Risk Of Power Abuse

Most people don't think of 'power' when they think about their relationship. Afterall, it's supposed to be about love, not power. But when you feel like the power is being abused, it becomes really important topic."

That's a statement made by Dr. Kurt when asked about how most people think about the abuse of power in a relationship. He couldn't more right.

If things are starting to feel off and you’re wondering if the balance of power in your relationship is normal or headed down the wrong path, the following red flags can help you gain clarity.

Red Flag One: They’ve become controlling and are cutting you out of decision-making

One of the earliest red flags of power abuse in a relationship is an attempt to control decisions, big and small.

If your partner is starting to insist on making all the choices, you have reason to be concerned.

Look for,

Efforts to dictate your daily behavior
Refusal to compromise
Controlling information and refusal to communicate
Attempts to discourage you from seeing friends or family
Making financial decisions or attempting to control your financial choices

Keep in mind that controlling behavior is sometimes masked as “concern” or wanting “what’s best for you.” But make no mistake, these actions will erode your independence and self-esteem over time.

Red Flag Two: You’re noticing more emotionally manipulative tactics

A partner who’s beginning to abuse their position in the relationship will often use emotionally manipulative tactics to do so.

These techniques can make you doubt yourself and make it easier for them to control you.

Look for,

Gaslighting. Gaslighting makes you doubt yourself and your own reality. It can make you feel like you’re losing your grip on reality and can’t trust your own instincts.
Guilt-tripping. Guilt is a powerful motivator and a vulnerability for many.
Blame shifting. The blame game can cause people to assume responsibility and apologize for things they had nothing to do with.
Love-bombing. There is such a thing as too much love and attention. Love-bombing is a manipulative tactic that strives to make you vulnerable.
The silent treatment. Withholding communication and refusing to speak can influence a partner to make a greater effort to please and bend to the other partner’s will.

If you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells or questioning your perception of reality, it strongly indicates that your partner is manipulating you.

Red Flag Three: They’re acting more and more disrespectfully

Respect is one of the fundamentals of a healthy relationship. A partner who behaves disrespectfully and shows no regard for your needs is leading your relationship down a bad road.

Look for,

Ignoring your boundaries or showing disregard for your personal possessions or space.
Pressuring you into doing things that make you uncomfortable. This can include sex or sexual behaviors.
Belittling you or mocking things that are important to you. Often, sarcasm is a form of this and is explained away as humor.
Threatening to leave or threatening self-harm if you don’t acquiesce to their desires.

Over time, these behaviors can make you feel trapped and helpless.

Takeaways About The Red Flags Of Power Abuse

Recognizing the red flags of a power imbalance can help you address them before they become ingrained in your relationship. But no matter when you notice them, addressing power abuse is crucial for your emotional and mental well-being.

If you notice red flags of power abuse in your relationship, trust your instincts and make changes. A healthy relationship is one where both partners feel loved, valued, and respected.

FAQs

How do I know the difference between healthy input and influence and abusive control in a relationship?

Healthy input and influence involve mutual respect and compromise. In other words, they may suggest something, but respect your autonomy when making decisions for yourself. Abusive control, on the other hand, seeks to remove your ability to make choices freely.

What should I do if I recognize the red flags of power abuse in my relationship?

The first step is to address what you’re seeing with your partner. If they don’t see their behavior as a problem, consider talking to a friend or family member for perspective or consulting a therapist. If you feel emotionally or physically threatened or unsafe, seek help immediately. There are hotlines and support services available online or in person in most communities.