FEELING
STUCK?

Anger Problems Take our FREE Husband Rater Quiz! Take a Quiz

follow Guy Stuff

Guy Stuff's Counseling Men Blog shares real stories from our counseling sessions, giving practical solutions and answers to the challenges men and women face.

subscribeSubscribe by Email

Your email:

Got a Question

Have a question you'd like to Ask a Marriage Counselor? 
Submit your question here and we'll try to answer it in an up coming post. Please keep in mind that we get a lot of questions and are limited in how many we can answer. (Be sure to Sign Up by Email or RSS Feed above so you'll get our answer as soon as it's published.)

Blog Privacy Notice

All the stories, people, and quotes described in this blog are real.  However, people's names and biographical details have been changed to conceal their identity and protect their privacy.

Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

Current Articles | RSS Feed RSS Feed

Warning Signs of an Abusive Husband

  
  
  
  

Warning Signs of Emotionally Abusive HusbandsEver wonder why your marriage doesn't seem normal?  Maybe it's because you're married to an abusive husband. 

Here are some warning signs of an abusive husband to look for from Dr. Phil's article Are You In an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?:

Does your partner continuously degrade or belittle you? If you think that just because you aren't being physically abused nothing is wrong, think again.

Emotional abuse can have devastating consequences on both physical and mental health. While emotional or psychological abuse may be difficult to pinpoint, examples abound. Here are some characteristics:

  •  
    • Using economic power to control you
    • Threatening to leave
    • Making you afraid by using looks, gestures or actions
    • Smashing things
    • Controlling you through minimizing, denying and blaming
    • Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously
    • Continually criticizing you, calling you names, shouting at you
    • Emotionally degrading you in private, but acting charming in public
    • Humiliating you in private or public
    • Withholding approval, appreciation or affection as punishment

Results of Verbal and Emotional Abuse, from the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness:

  •  
    • A distrust of her spontaneity
    • A loss of enthusiasm
    • An uncertainty about how she is coming across
    • A concern that something is wrong with her
    • An inclination to reviewing incidents with the hopes of determining what went wrong
    • A loss of self-confidence
    • A growing self-doubt
    • An internalized critical voice
    • A concern that she isn't happier and ought to be
    • An anxiety or fear of being crazy
    • A sense that time is passing and she's missing something
    • A desire not to be the way she is, e.g. "too sensitive," etc.
    • A hesitancy to accept her perceptions
    • A reluctance to come to conclusions
    • A tendency to live in the future, e.g. "Everything will be great when/after ..."
    • A desire to escape or run away
    • A distrust of future relationships

Can you see yourself or your husband in any of these descriptions? 

If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, get some professional marriage counseling help.  Being confused is a natural outcome of abuse, and abusive men take advantage of it, so you need an expert to help understand you what's really going on and what you can do about it.

Husband Rater QuizHow to Get the Husband of Your Dreams

Learn how your husband rates compared to other husbands and help him get back to being the man you fell in love with. Take our Free Husband Rater Quiz (quizzes for both wives and husbands).

Comments

I'm male. Right now I don't know what to do. I realize my wife emotionaly abuses me. Somedays I try to keep my mouth shut. Today I was mentallt hurt by her. I was feeling sad. I should have not told her I was sad because all the sudden she screamed at me and told me she wasn't staying at home. Saying how sick of it she is, slamming stuff around. I'm affraid of this behavior. I don't want to be separated from my kids. I feel like she might be rubbing off on the kids and maybe someday they will be abussive. That is my biggest fear, for my kids
Posted @ Sunday, August 15, 2010 1:08 AM by Tom
I am married to a man who physically, mentally, financially and emotionally abused me. Do I have to stay with him? To make matters worst, somethimes, he would treat my life by looking for his gun and usiing it as props on our arguments. do you think he will still change? he seems doing some effort trying to send my kids to school and fetching them, teching them on the violin and piano but asidw from them , everything is my concern from food to schooling. I got sick and tired of carrying for him.
Posted @ Friday, September 30, 2011 8:26 PM by opilg aerdna
my marriage is falling apart,my husband too talkative and the very sad part is when he starts reserching about my past and come and shout at me about it,he will make me stand the whole night while he is lying on bed talking about it .he keeps on accusing me of my past,threatening to leave and mostly now he started being physical on me .Im afraid of the out comes of his behaviour.
Posted @ Tuesday, October 11, 2011 4:29 AM by sethunya
Post Comment
Name
 *
Email
 *
Website (optional)
Comment
 *

Allowed tags: <a> link, <b> bold, <i> italics