What's Emotional Abuse Look Like?
Posted by Kurt Smith, MFT, AFC on Sun, Jul 25, 2010
Part 2 of 2
Think you might be suffering emotional abuse? Or maybe you're wondering if you might be a perpetrator of emotional abuse.
So what's emotional abuse look like?
To see the signs of emotional abuse, read over these excerpts of transcripts from Mel Gibson talking to his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva (Mel Gibson Rant).
As you read, ask yourself these questions:
- How does Mel try to control her?
- Does he threaten her? How many times? In what ways?
- Does he want her to be submissive to him? What does this look like?
- What does he blame her for? Are these things she really is responsible for?
- In what ways does he humiliate her?
Mel Gibson: Who the f--- cares? We agreed nothing. You agreed. You just f------ expect s---. Go to the g--damn jacuzzi yourself, go down to the f------ jacuzzi. You have no f------ soul! My soul is screaming because you don't have one to join mine. You have no f------ soul. I left my wife because we had no spiritual common ground. You and I have none. Zero. You won't even f------ try. (huffing again) You don't care. You don't care.
Oksana Grigorieva: You just enjoy insulting me. That's all.
MG: F--- you, I so f------ do. Because you've hurt me so bad. You insult me with every look, every breath, every heartbeat.
OG: I did not do anything. I apologize for nothing.
MG: What? What? You apologize for nothing? Well then you're a dishonest c---! Because you need to apologize for a reason.
OG: I wanted to have peace. You are unbalanced.
MG: Instinctively, I feel that. And I will not be patronized by you.
OG: You're unbalanced. You need medication.
MG: If you will not f------ admit that, then get the f--- out. I will make your g--damn life miserable. Alright?
OG: You need medication.
MG: What? What?
OG: You need medication.
MG: I need a woman, not a f------ little girl with a f----- dysfunctional c---. I need a f------ woman. I don't need medication. You need a f------ bat to the side of the head. All right? How about that? You need a f------ doctor. You need a f------ brain transplant. You need a f------ … you need a f------ soul. I need medication? I need someone who f------ treats me like a man, like a human being. With kindness, who understands what gratitude is because I f------ bend over backwards with my balls in a knot. and she gives me s--- with a f------ sour look and says I'm mean. What the f--- is that? This is mean! Get it! You get it now? What mean is? Get it? (huffing) You f------ don't care about me. I'm having a hard time and you f------ yank the rug, you bitch. You f------, selfish bitch. Don't you dare hang up on me.
OG: I can't listen to this anymore.
MG: You hang up, I'm coming over there.
OG: I'll call the police.
MG: What?
OG: I'll call the police.
MG: You f------ c---. I'm coming to my house. You're in my house, honey.
(Section cut out due to space constraints. For the full transcript, read Mel Gibson Rant)
OG: Because I'm saving my life and my daughter's life. That's what I'm doing. I don't give a damn about my music. And I don't give a damn about you spending another penny. I'm saving her life. You almost killed us, did you forget?
MG: The last three years have been a f------ gravy train for you.
OG: You were hitting a woman with a child in her hands. You! What kind of a man is that, hitting a woman when she's holding a child in her hands? Breaking her teeth, twice, in the face. What kind of man is that?
MG: Oooh, you're all angry now! You know what, you f------ deserved it.
OG: You're gonna answer, one day, boy, you're gonna answer.
MG: Huh? What? Are you threatening me?
OG: Nothing, nothing. I'm not the one to threaten.
MG: I'm threatening you? I'll put you in a f------ rose garden, you c---. You understand that? Because I'm capable of it. You understand that? Get a f------ restraining order. For what? What are you gonna get a restraining order for? For me being drunk and disorderly? For hitting you? For what?
How many signs of emotional abuse do you see?
- Control?
- Threaten?
- Make submissive?
- Blame?
- Humiliate?
That's what emotional abuse looks like. If you think you might be suffering emotional abuse, or perpetrating it, get some professional help. Marriage counselors or couples counselors can be a great help when you feel trapped and don't know how to get things to change. Change can happen, but only if you do something to make it.
Read Other Posts: Emotional Abuse Signs - Watch for These 5 Emotional Abuse Signs