Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

My Husband Doesn't Love Me - 5 Things You Can Do About It

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Apr 28, 2010

My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore - 5 Tips for WivesPart 1 of 2

If you're feeling that your husband doesn't love you anymore, you may be right.  A lot of husbands, and wives, are not "in love" with their partners.  However, most men have told me that this doesn't mean they don't love their wives, they're just not "in love" with them. 

A husband told me last week in my counseling with men that he loves his wife "as a mom, but not as a wife."

So what can you do to get your husband to love you again?  Here are a few suggestions.

  1. UNCONDITIONAL Make your love of your husband unconditional.  Don't make it dependent upon his loving you.  When most of us feel unloved, it makes us resentful and angry.  This can have the negative affect of making us less attractive, which contributes to our partners loving us even less.  It also causes us to make our loving our partners conditional on them loving us first. (Note-Unconditional love doesn't mean accepting abuse.  If your partner is emotionally, verbally, or physically abusive, set limits on accepting this behavior while you love him)
  2. RESPECT This is a core need for men.  When men don't feel respected, they don't feel loved.  Like all of us, when we don't feel loved by someone, it's harder for us to them love back.  Look for ways that you can show your husband respect.  Such as asking for his input on a decision, including him in what's going on with the kids, or letting him handle things he's good at.
  3. Coming . . . The 3 remaining tips will be published next week.  Sign-up for our blog on the right side of this page and be sure not to miss the last 3 things you can do to get him to love you again (you can get notified by email or RSS feed).

Take a look at this article about another wife who feels that her husband doesn't love her: How to Save My Marriage - When My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore.

* This is the first article of two on 5 things you can do when you feel my husband doesn't love me anymore.  The 3 remaining tips will be published next week.  Sign-up for our blog on the right side of this page and be sure not to miss the last 3 things you can do to get him to love you again (you can get notified by email or RSS feed).

Husband Rater QuizHow to Get the Husband of Your Dreams

Learn how your husband rates compared to other husbands and help him get back to being the man you fell in love with. Take our Free Husband Rater Quiz (quizzes for both wives and husbands).

Tags: Love Is Gone