How Long Does Midlife Crisis Last?

    does-midlife-crisis-last-a-long-time.jpgWe all can act a little crazy at times, but when acting crazy-like becomes a pattern it can be an indication of something bigger. If you've discovered that your partner's strange behavior is due to a midlife crisis, then you're soon going to be asking just how long does midlife crisis last?

    One of the toughest parts of a midlife crisis for partners is the uncertainty. Not only is what the next erratic behavior will be unknown, but so is just how long the midlife crisis will last. Ask any partner and they'll tell you the uncertainty is the hardest.

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    Another difficult part to have to watch, and put up with, is the child-like behavior. There are a number of situations where grown men can act like little boys and this is one of the biggest of them. Below is a Google+ post I wrote about men growing up that really fits this discussion of how long a midlife crisis can last. Be sure to click the Read more button to read the full post.


     

    One of the common characteristics of male midlife crisis is for a man to act like a selfish child. During this time men will abandon their partners and kids, neglect relationships and their jobs, cheat, among many other dysfunctional behaviors. Rather than acting like the middle-aged men with responsibilities that they are, they revert back to being like teenagers without a care in the world.

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    What largely effects how long this midlife crisis lasts is how prepared a man is to handle such a difficult challenge. Sadly, far too many men are not prepared and ill-equipped for this kind of trial. Below is an example of such a guy.

    Doug has "no self-esteem" according to his wife, Renee, and she says he's also "a very angry person." When Doug's father died, then his dog died, then their daughter left home for college, and then he lost his job of 23-years, all within a 3-month span of time, it was just too much for Doug. There's no question that this set of circumstances in such a short period of time would be a lot for anyone of us to get through without struggling more than a little bit. But for Doug, it was more than he could handle.

    Overwhelmed and unwilling to seek professional help, Doug decided to try to runaway from his problems and pain, so he separated from Renee. Months later Renee learned that he had been cheating on her with a neighbor during this time as well. Since separating Doug has drifted aimlessly for a number of months living in different places and working sporadically. Meanwhile Renee has waited for him to come to his senses and move back home while struggling with just how long his midlife crisis is going to last.

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    Doug's father abused alcohol and was a "philanderer," and not having done any mental health counseling to ensure that he would not repeat the same behaviors, Doug has done just that - drank too much and cheated just like his father. It's important to note that this is Doug's story, not every man's story. Midlife crisis looks different for each person, but they all have similarities at the same time.

    Like every partner, Renee wants to know how long this midlife crisis will last. It's really up to Doug. As long as he continues to avoid dealing with his issues and chooses to soothe his pain with alcohol and other women, it's not going to stop. Some men come to their senses and realize the bad choices they're making and get some help, others do not. One key to recovering and ensuring that similar behavior will not occur again is getting professional men's counseling to help to learn how to deal with challenges more effectively.

    Unfortunately, many men are reactive when it comes to taking care of their health rather than being proactive. If Doug had gotten help for his self-esteem and anger management problems beforehand, and learned how to cope differently than his father, then he probably would have gotten through that difficult time in his life much better and without making such poor choices.

    How long does midlife crisis last ultimately depends on the man. How prepared or ill-prepared he is to deal with stressors plays a big part, the kind of coping skills he has is also really important, but the thing that is the biggest factor is what 'thing' will cause him to wake up and own the mistakes he is making, and what that 'thing' is that's going to make him grow up is a big unknown.

    Did this article help? Do you have a better idea of what effects how long a midlife crisis lasts? Sign-up at the bottom of this page to receive notice of future or follow me on Facebook or Google+ where I share other helpful relationship and self-improvement advice like this several times a week.

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