My Wife is Crazy - or is She? Find Out


    5 Min Read


    Everyone has occasional mood swings and displays of emotional behavior. But have you ever found yourself in a situation where you think, "My wife is crazy?"

    I don't mean in the wild and fun kind of way, but in the I'm-not-sure-she-should-handle-knives way. Erratic behavior can occur for a variety of reasons, but it is possible that your wife is experiencing something common to women, but not often discussed.


    Does your wife break down into tears for no apparent reason, or has she suddenly developed panic attacks or a drastically shorter temper? Maybe she has developed anxiety that she cannot shake or has nightmares more often than ever before.

    All these behaviors may have you thinking, "my wife crazy." You might even start to believe your wife needs mental health help. What she may actually need, however, is a gynecologist.

    Ask yourself the following questions:

    • Is she between the ages of 35-45? (there is wiggle room on either side of this).
    • Is she moody? Perhaps more dramatically moody than in the past?
    • Does she seem fatigued more than normal?
    • Is she having trouble sleeping or staying asleep?

    If you answer yes to any of these it may not be that your wife is crazy after all. She may be experiencing perimenopause, a phase of life that is perfectly normal, but often overlooked.

    Why Is My Wife Crazy?

    Perimenopause occurs in women as early as their mid-thirties and is defined as the 4-8 (sometimes shorter, sometimes longer) years prior to menopause when a woman's estrogen levels begin to drop. These changes can cause a variety of symptoms, not the least of which is moody, temperamental "my wife is crazy" kind of behavior.

    Barring any other issues in your marriage, your wife still loves you and, despite the fact that she seems crazy, she is probably just experiencing normal hormone changes. The changes in chemistry can cause emotions to be more easily triggered than before and she may not always be able to control this.


    You may even find yourself the unwitting target of anger or sadness that makes no sense to you or anyone else in your family. When these things come out of the blue, you might actually start thinking, "my wife is crazy!"

    Keep in mind that this could be as confusing for her as it is for you. Many women don't even realize this is a normal phase of life. There are also physical changes that she may experience such as hot flashes, fatigue, and weight gain. Trust me; she is not enjoying this any more than you are.

    What Else Can Cause Crazy Behavior?

    While physiological changes in women can cause behavioral changes, so can psychological issues as well.

    Midlife crisis is something that most of us tend to associate with men, but it certainly can happen to women too. The signs of midlife crisis in women can be a little different than midlife crisis symptoms in men though, and because it can happen around the same time, it can be easily written off as menopause, or empty-nest syndrome.

    A midlife crisis (even a quarter life crisis), however, generally has emotional triggers rather than physical ones. And in the case of a midlife crisis it is a counselor, rather than a physician, that will be of most benefit. Make no mistake, a midlife crisis can be complicated and needs to be dealt with properly.

    So, before you send her off to her primary care doctor, or write it off as hormones, you should take some time to understand what could truly be going on with your wife. Her recovery and return to the woman you know and love depends upon her getting the proper treatment.

    What You Should Do When Your Wife Acts Crazy

    Regardless as to the cause of her behavior, try your best to be patient and talk to her. Do your best to be understanding, and steer clear of saying to others, "My wife is crazy” or accusing her directly of being crazy. It’s very likely she realizes her behavior is off and peppering her with disparaging descriptions will only make her feel worse.


    If her behavior is causing damage to your relationship, then a frank conversation is in order. Your wife might not realize how her behavior has affected you. These symptoms sneak up on women, often much earlier in their lives than they would anticipate.

    If your wife is caught off guard with these changes she may actually feel as though she is going crazy. Ensuring her that you still love her and find her attractive will provide comfort. Keeping channels open for communication and employing new coping strategies will allow these tense situations to be diffused and stop a fight from arising.

    As both a blessing and a curse, the symptoms are not likely to be 24/7. They will come and go, which means that you may be occasionally blindsided by reactions you were not anticipating. Do not dismiss her just because you feel that she is being more emotional, however. An emotional reaction is still a valid reaction.

    If her symptoms are severe, she may want to speak with her doctor to discuss options for easing them. If your wife becomes emotionally abusive, or physically abusive, these behaviors will need to be addressed and may not be a result of normal changes. However, they certainly could be exacerbated by the natural physical changes occurring.


    Behavior changes can be tricky. Some of the signs common to this phase can also be associated with other issues. If you suspect problems that seem deeper or more serious, either within her or your relationship, you should seek assistance from either a physician or a counselor.

    Dr. Kurt had this to say,

    Dealing with emotionally loaded behavior even within the strongest, healthiest relationships can be really tough. But for relationships that are already not in great shape it can be too much to handle. Other problems can arise as a result, such as anger problems by either partner, and having an emotional affair becomes more of a possibility as a way to escape the negativity. This is why it's so important that couples get help before things get much worse."

    Will Her Crazy Ever Stop?

    Yes, these emotional and physical symptoms do come to an end. Once a woman actually goes through menopause her hormones will stabilize and so will she. Have faith in your relationship and the love and affection you have for one another. As they say, this too will pass.

    So, when you begin to tell yourself that, "my wife is crazy," consider the things mentioned above and try talking to her. Through all of this communication is paramount. It is quite possible that she will appreciate your effort at reaching out and trying to understand (just don't call her crazy).

    Editor's Note: This post was originally published June 21, 2017 and has been updated with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.


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