Part 2 of 4
Does your husband drive you crazy? Wonder if your relationship complaints are common? Let's find out.
Here are the first 3 (of 10) things wives complain about their husbands (husbands complain about these too). These come from research results published in the article You're Driving Me Crazy! from Psychology Today.
1: "It's Deliberate"
"It's the reaction of the host, not the strength of the pathogen," says rabbi and marriage educator Edwin Friedman. Snoring isn't the problem; it's the meaning you give it. We take every irritant personally. We treat every action, deliberate or accidental, conscious or subconscious, as a personal slight-a sign the other doesn't care about us or isn't prioritizing us. When we don't get what we want, we interpret it as, "You don't love me enough." We think, "If you really cared about me, you'd stop driving me crazy with all your irritating habits."
In virtually every relationship, one partner is messier than the other. Eighty percent of couples living together say differences over mess and disorganization cause tension in their relationship, report Columbia University management professor Eric Abrahamson and Massachusetts journalist David H. Freedman, authors of A Perfect Mess.
My boyfriend throws his dirty socks on the floor when he gets into bed," says Victoria, a legal recruiter in New York. "Once a man is living with a woman, he doesn't really see the need to clean up after himself. He assumes I'll just pick them up in the morning. It's disrespectful."
3: Feeling Unloved
"My rule was you stay and work it out; hers was you don't raise your voice."
The culture clash led to heartache. When Robbins got excited and raised his voice, his girlfriend felt hurt. She'd leave the room to avoid conflict, which to Robbins meant she didn't care about him. Both felt unloved. So they made a pact: He wouldn't raise his voice, and she wouldn't leave the room. It worked perfectly-until the day they were both stressed out. Robbins raised his voice, and she walked out of the room.
"You promised you wouldn't leave!" said Robbins.
"You said you weren't going to yell!" said his girlfriend, who stormed off.
Do you think sometimes he irritates you deliberately? Is his messiness one of your complaints? Ever feel unloved? These are common things wives complain about their husbands. But there are also ways to avoid the mistakes that drive these relationship complaints.
If you'd like to learn how to end the way your husband drives you crazy, then contact a marriage counselor who specializes in men and get some help.
Read the first article here - Common Complaints Wives Have About Husbands - Husbands About Wives.
This is the second article of four examining complaints and differences in marriage relationships. In the next article we'll continue looking at 10 beliefs and problems that come from the differences between us and our partners. Sign-up for our blog at the bottom of this page and be sure not to miss any parts of this series.
Looking for More? Check Out These Articles
- Common Complaints Husbands & Wives Have About Each Other (Part 1)
- Things Husbands Complain About Their Wives (Part 3)
- More Complaints From Husbands & Wives Have (Part 4)
- Get More Help with Marriage Problems