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Marriage Problems - Facebook is Causing a lot of Marriage Problems

  
  
  
  

Facebook is Causing a lot of Marriage ProblemsSharon didn't like it when she saw that her husband had received a friend invite on FaceBook from an ex-girlfriend.  She told him she wanted him to delete it.  Jeff took a couple of weeks to get around to it.  Sharon was ticked.  Fortunately, Sharon and Jeff were already in marriage counseling, but this didn't help the progress we were making.

Kevin said he feels disrespected by his girlfriend because she has some party pictures on her FaceBook page and she has told him he has to deal with it.  He's struggling with what he feels is a double standard since he took some similar pictures off of his page when they got back together and believes there's no way she'd tolerate his keeping his pictures up.

Daren got reconnected with a girl he knew in college on FaceBook.  One thing led to another and he had an affair.  When his wife discovered the text messages, he called for counseling help to put his marriage back together.

These are just some of the marriage problems I've worked with recently that arose from FaceBook and MySpace.

Here's an excerpt from the CNN article Easier to Mess Up Love Life on Social Networks:

Many people try to reunite online because it's so easy, says Nancy Kalish, a professor of psychology at Cal State Sacramento and author of the book "Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romance."

Kalish says most people go looking for lost loves, initially, out of curiosity. First loves in particular are most often sought out online, she says, and they pose the most danger to real-world relationships for two reasons: biological and emotional.

Her advice to the social networking crowd is simple: "It's not enough to have a good marriage. My rule is, if you are married or in a serious relationship, you are not available. Don't contact your lost love. Understand that these are old feelings and that who your lost love was years ago is not who they are today."

Here's 5 Suggestions to Protect Your Marriage While Social Networking from K. Jason & Kelli Krafsky of the MarriageJunkie blog:

  1. Set Safeguards With Your Mate
  2. Don't Post Negative Things About Your Spouse
  3. Choose Your Friends Wisely
  4. Play It Smart With Who You Talk About What With
  5. If In Doubt, Defriend Them

Check out Jason and Kelli's suggestions in more detail at Is FaceBook a Cyber Threat to Your Marriage.

What do you think?  Are Facebook and MySpace a problem for marriages?

Photo by: AJC1

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Comments

A point of wisdom for all of you who think 'there's nothing wrong with facebook, I don't have all that stuff on my page.' Think about it, if you have nothing to hide from a good husband, then why would you need hide anything from him? I thought you said your relationship was open??? What's up with that ladies? 
 
Why would my wife have any need to hide her wall and set it to private? Why does my wife get upset when I ask her why she has her page set to private? Is there something she’s not comfortable with me seeing? Is there something that she has to have private from her husband that she’s ashamed of? Why all of a sudden? Why does my wife have one of her favorite sites posted as a “marriage and sex book” that does not reflect Godly standards for marriage, yet the book is really camouflaged as a healthy book for marriage? Is this some kind of joke? 
Why do I have to ask my wife “may I see your facebook page?” Why does she pause and say “ok, just a minute….”, then I have to wait while she deletes or hides whatever it is that she didn’t want me to see at the moment I asked? Why is it later maybe after a few days of her staying on her toes just in case I asked to see her facebook page, would my wife respond to me (after asking may I see your page?) would she say “oh sure,” knowing that she’s hidden all the incriminating things about her communication with some other guy or girl for that fact from me? 
I hope other guys are not going through what I’m going through, but you know…if she is having an affair emotionally (if not physically) with another guy…it will come to light.
Posted @ Thursday, April 29, 2010 4:24 PM by Tony
yes I would have to say the same thing has happen to me...I just had a baby with her no more then 4 mouths ago we were getting married well befor my son was born she thought it ok to used facebook to talk with anther guy they ended up sending naked pics and so forth and I found out the next morning when I got home from work and then about a mouth later she was talking to anther guy this one she ended up giving head to in my first apt less the 10 feet from my first born son....... I have found it hard not to kill the man who thought it smart to do that with my son in the same room its been a fight to end to get her to put facebook 6 feet under even after fighting about it for 3 mouths I got her to do it well I did it but she gave in but theres a 14teen day wait be for its gone for good I also had to have her get a new number for her cellphone because the guy she first talked to on facebook hes up top of comment you know the one with the naked pics well he wouldn't stop textting her she said she would get a new number if that happen well....that was a fight to I she went from having below 60 friends to having 289 friends in 6 mouths....... I'm still working on it I don't want to tell my son when he gets older that daddy didn.t try you know what I mean I'm only 20 so it just feels like the end of the world for me with the stuff she does all I live for is what I remember of her befor she started doing things this way and my son Rayden I know there's more people out there that this is happening to and I'm so so sorry for I understand!. this just isn't for men it gio's for the lady's too
Posted @ Wednesday, November 10, 2010 9:21 AM by Robert. A. S.
Facebook destroying marriages
Posted @ Sunday, December 19, 2010 3:38 PM by Allen
Facebook ended my marriage nearly a year ago. Too damn bad we can't get a class action suit against the owner of the site. I'm a computer tech, but can say with great pride that I have never had, or will have a membership on social networking sites. My ex spent 14-16 hours daily on my space and facebook, and still does. I could not believe she was listing people as "friends" like crackhead entertainers, and other celebs who have staff to answer requests.  
 
She was advised by her "friends" to file for divorce. Yes, it hurts, but I'm better off without her.
Posted @ Monday, January 17, 2011 8:20 AM by Dan
My husband is ashamed of me because I did not want him to be friends with an ex-girlfriend or should I say first love. He and her were following each other closely and commenting on just about every post. We have had huge fights over it and he wanted a divorce, all because of this woman. I was recently accused of stalking her because of something on another website. He is still on the site and spends alot of time hiding it. He now hates my family because he thinks it was them that convinced me he was cheating, when in actuality it is his hiding and blocking me that makes me think he would do such a thing to me. It hurts really bad to know that these people that he went to high school with are more important to him than his wife and his child. What am I supposed to do? I don't want a divorce, but I don't know what to do about it anymore.
Posted @ Tuesday, August 30, 2011 8:24 PM by Becky
My wife and I have been together for 16 years, married for 10 of them. I thought we had a great marriage until the last 3 months. I got an email from a girl out of state that I did not even know. She was friends with friends of mine. The email basically said that my wife had been texting, skyping, or messaging through facebook to an acquaintance of ours. That it had been strangely often and there was a picture of her offering to show her boobs if he would respond to her skype. When I asked about it, she told me that they had become friends and she felt she could confide in him. The boob things was her joking with him.  
I let it go and a few months passed when I got a phone call at our house from a private number saying to thank my wife for ruining her marriage. I asked her about that and she said she had no idea. 
A week went by as I grew more and more suspicious. I found out she had changed her Facebook password. 
One night I decided to look at her iphone while she was sleeping only to find out she had been flurting with other guys I did not know and had been texting one guy where she did send a naked picture of her boob. We started couples therapy and have been once. She will not give me her password and she continues to use facebook most of the day. I don't know if our marriage will last.
Posted @ Sunday, November 27, 2011 8:33 AM by Bob
My marriage is still on "the ROCKS" because of social sites. It's not just social sites, it's the ease of having anything at your fingertips, just a click away. The internet is a good thing, but can be ohhh sooo damaging to a marriage. My husband is addicted to porn. All of our 38 years together I've fought with this problem. So,,,when he had over 1800 so called friends, on Facebook, I started deleting them. Three quarters of them were young Asian girls or women, he really got pissed. He said they were just friends to play games with, but he could play games with dudes. DUH!!!!!! We have almost split up about 60 to 70 times in the last 2 years. It has been very stressful to say the least!!! I still don't know if we are going to survive this. All you women out there,,,,don't let your lives be ruined by the internet. Do not have ANY social sites period. Or...have a joint account. I'm starting to loose the love I have for my husband,.....something that I thought would never ever happen....I hope he comes to his senses soon, or we will end up in divorce court. there is NO room for cheating of ANY kind in my marriage.
Posted @ Monday, September 10, 2012 10:10 PM by Darlene Aguilera
yes i believe fb is a big problem.my fiance was having what i call an emotional affair online with not one but 3 old bf's.there is a saying"if you're friends with your 1st husband you ill lose your 2nd"well needless to say i had a physical affair with an old gf and it has been an uphill battle to get our relationship back the way it once was.to me a relationship should be based on honesty.
Posted @ Sunday, January 06, 2013 10:04 PM by james
I was married 27 years, two boys and sweet lil gradbaby. life was good. I thought everything was good in my marriage. She (Susan Dorman)found her first love on facebook. We lived in Alabama,He (Joe woods) lived in Arazona. he had been married 26 years. In one week they were in love ,in 26 days they were talking of getting marriage. I accidently found out about it and we tried to work it out , but she was in love.Both marriages ended. He moved to Alabama, but I dont think it worked out. I got single again at age 47. went thru the most difficult time of my life, but thats behind me how and I am enjoying life again.I kinda got to be a teenager again. Beleive me a Harley is good thrapy! Im not going to say I'm glad it happen , but everything turned out ok. Between my faith and some wonderful people , Im on the other side of this storm..
Posted @ Thursday, March 21, 2013 10:07 AM by Barry Dorman
Me and my wife have been having the same trouble. We had a baby about a year ago. We have been together for 10 years and married for 4. She is a stay at home mom. She was facebook messiging a guy she when out with before me. I had know idea this was going on. She had an affair for 6 months. At first i wanted out of the marriage but for are babies sake i have been trying to stick it out. Her and the guy broke it off. She is still hiding things from me. She has a password on her cellphone and me blocked out of facebook so i cant see nothing she is posting. I have been trying to tell her this i know way to make me trust her again and she acts like it is no big deal. We fight about it because she will not let me see here facebook. She has been messiging other guys sence she broke it off with her fling. I dont know how to get her to realize what she is doing is wrong. We have not started marriage counseling yet but need to start it soon. I cant take much more of this it is not fare to are child what she is doing.
Posted @ Sunday, September 08, 2013 7:39 AM by Jeff
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