Part 3 of 4
Does your wife irritate you sometimes? Ever wonder if other husbands have the same complaints about their wives as you?
4: Feeling Unappreciated
An attitude of goodwill is essential to all relationships; it makes us eager to do things to please our partners, especially if our efforts are acknowledged and appreciated. But if we feel our efforts are not being noticed-or, worse, that our partner notices only what we're not doing-we lose interest in performing those generous acts that further the relationship. We get irritable instead, and at the very least feel taken for granted.
5: Feeling Controlled
Feeling controlled is one of the most common-40 percent, in one study-relationship complaints. "We human beings don't like to be told what to do," says John Jacobs. The real problem may not be your partner's behavior but the way you label it. "What one person experiences as control, another might experience as love and caring," explains Madanes. "The art of relationships is turning things around even if the other is not collaborating."
6: Not Feeling Intimate
Like all relationship irritants, lack of intimacy is a two-way street. If you're meeting all your partner's needs and filling him or her up with love daily, you'll both feel warm and close. "I hear so many men say, 'My wife suddenly left me, and I can't understand why, I gave her everything,'" says Madanes. "I say, 'You gave her everything except what she needed!'"
From my years of counseling men I know that these are common complaints husbands have about ways they say "my wife irritates me." A lot of men tell me they feel unappreciated by their wife for what they do for them and their family. Frequently men contact me for counseling for men because they feel controlled by their wives and don't know how to stop it. Too little sex (because wives don't feel intimate) is also a common complaint by husbands in my marriage counseling for men.
If you have anyone of these relationship complaints, get in line with a lot of guys, because you're not alone. But you can also change things too. Counseling for men can give you the tools you can use to feel appreciated, not feel controlled, and get more sex!
To read the first 2 articles, or the final article in the series, see Related Posts below.
* This is the third article of four examining complaints and differences between husbands and wives in marriage relationships. In the next and last article we'll look at the final 10 beliefs and problems that come from the differences between us and our partners. Sign-up for our blog on the right side of this page and be sure not to miss the last part of this series (you can get notified by email or RSS feed).
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