Marijuana Addiction Can Impact Couples and Relationships

5 Min Read

Contents

Unintended Problems Marijuana Addiction Can Cause
Hidden Affects Of Marijuana Addiction
Addiction To Marijuana Is Growing
Takeaways Regarding Marijuana Addiction
What Readers Think (30+ Comments)

Many people smoke pot and think it's no big deal. Most of them would laugh at the suggestion that marijuana addiction could apply to them.

Yet, I'm finding in my clinical counseling work more and more individuals who initially minimized their marijuana use but are later facing significant relational problems because of it.

Sadly, the majority don't see any connection between the two or the possibility that they may have developed an addiction to marijuana.

Unintended Problems Marijuana Addiction Can Cause

A guy I'm counseling, whose wife smokes marijuana because she has cancer, was really frustrated after they were finally able to go out as a couple a few weeks ago – she fell asleep during their dinner because she was stoned.

While he understands her reasons, it eases her cancer symptoms, he also believes she misuses it (really overuses it) and resents the impact it has on their relationship.

Another couple in marriage counseling with me decided recently that they needed to stop smoking pot in the evenings after their young kids go to bed.

What were their reasons?

They didn't want to teach their kids that smoking marijuana is normal.
They said they recognize that using substances to cope with problems isn't physically or mentally healthy.
The wife remembers growing up in a house that "smelled like a pot farm" and she was embarrassed to have friends over because of it.

Unlike these two couples, it's much more common for people not to notice the negative impact on themselves and their family.

Here's a more typical scenario of how marijuana addiction can arise and go unseen or ignored:

Watching porn? Not a problem. He has no interest in sex, and even less now that he's started smoking pot again in the shed during the day while I'm in the house or at work. He's in denial that it has any effect on him, except beneficial effects on his health and mood. He's in denial that he has promised me to stop and, therefore, that he has broken that promise (several times), even though he once promised it during one of our counselling sessions. (He stopped going to those, too.)" -Maria

Like alcohol, in our society marijuana has become normalized as an acceptable way to de-stress, relax, and cope with physical pain.

Unfortunately, it's also very easy to develop a dependence upon pot for these reasons and for that dependence to then become an addiction to marijuana.

Some of the negative consequences can be seen in the changes in Maria's partner.

Loss of interest in sex
Being less functional and productive
Broken promises

These are typical behavioral changes as a result of marijuana addiction.

Sound beneficial?

Hidden Effects Of Marijuana Addiction

There are many negative effects of marijuana addiction that can easily be overlooked or not even seen as being connected to drug use.

Consider, for instance, the man whose wife has cancer.

They fight all the time about a wide variety of topics. They do this because their relationship has become dysfunctional, and they have very limited communication skills. And her marijuana use has made it nearly impossible for them to improve their communication or find other ways to fix their relationship – but they can’t seem to see that connection.

In their minds these relationship problems have nothing to do with the marijuana addiction.

But her marijuana use is clearly affecting

How they relate to each other
Their ability to spend quality time together

And they’ve lost sight of the path to improving things. But if you ask them (or at least her), they’ll say these issues aren’t connected to her marijuana use.

Any addiction will contribute to an emotional disconnect in a relationship. The addicted person is just not going to be fully present and available to participate and support their partner.

Escaping life's challenges through a drug like marijuana just makes life more difficult, not easier.

Another couple I've counseled smokes pot together every night but spends the rest of their time either apart, ignoring each other, or fighting.

Sadly, one of the few things that unify them as a couple is their shared dependence on marijuana.

This is an unhealthy dynamic, and I believe it's also one of the things that keeps them from building a healthy relationship and experiencing real intimacy with each other.

Rather than enjoying life together and building a future, they live in general misery, disinterested in one another until their co-dependent, enabling behavior brings them together each evening and they get high.

Here's another example of the unintended consequences of having an addiction to marijuana:

About 4 months ago I met an amazing woman. We both fell head over heals for each other from the beginning and everything was great. We have never fought, disrespected each other, cheated, etc. we have been perfect. She lives a life of sobriety and had been for 5 years. I don't drink at all but about 2 months ago I started smoking pot. It turned into an everyday thing for about 4 weeks. I would never do around her or even be high around her. A few times she brought it up as something she might not be ok with as she was learning what she was ok with and not. We talked and she said she didn't mind that I did it as long as it didn't effect our relationship. During those 4 weeks looking back on it now, the last 2 weeks we've became disconnected and 2 days ago she broke up with me out of nowhere. She said she lost the love she had for me and said ‘I love you but I'm not in love with you.’ She wouldn't let me even have a chance or give me a try to make it right. I told her I would stop but it didn't matter to her she said because her feelings had already changed. I don't see how you can love someone one day with all your heart and be done the next. She looked at me like I was a threat to her sobriety. I don't know what to do." -Dylan

A lot of the time marijuana addiction doesn't look like an addiction at all.

Does it look like Dylan became addicted in 4 weeks, or was he just abusing it?
Does it matter?
Isn't the result of losing his girlfriend what really matters?

Clearly smoking marijuana caused relationship problems for him, and there’s probably more than we know because we're not hearing her side of the story.

Addiction To Marijuana Is Growing

Because marijuana is becoming a legal choice in more and more places, more and more people think of it as a harmless and acceptable choice. Many put it in the same place in their minds as alcohol. In fact, some consider it a safer, less dangerous, and an even less addictive choice than alcohol.

But the truth is, legalization doesn’t eliminate the risks.

The considerations I noted above make no difference once abuse of the substance occurs. Marijuana, regardless of its new legal standing, can still be abused and cause a wide range of interpersonal problems for those who abuse it. Anything overdone ceases to be harmless and “no big deal.”

Takeaways Regarding Marijuana Addiction

Despite what many people believe and much of what is said in our society, developing an addiction to marijuana is becoming very common. Which means it’s even more important to recognize the problems that come with it.

And you don't have to have a marijuana addiction that requires treatment in a drug rehab center to have a problem that needs to be addressed.

Editor's Note: This post was originally published June 8, 2017, updated on June 7, 2022, and has been updated again with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.