Rick came in wearing his leathers. When I followed him into the office, I could see the logo for his Harley-Davidson club on the back of his vest.
He wasn't the kind of man most people would expect to see coming to marriage counseling. Yet Rick rode his bike for more than 2 hours to come to see me and he came by himself.
He was desperate to save his marriage. Many men are. It may take a lot of guys a while to wake up and get around to taking some action, but when they do, many of them are willing to do anything.
So what types of men go to marriage counseling?
- Here are some of the men I've worked with: a school teacher, dentist, mortgage loan processor, Air Force pilot, ER doctor, truck driver, owner of a landscaping company, construction worker, vice president of a Fortune 500 company, Army sergeant, judge, college student. Rick worked in a distribution warehouse.
- Men get to counseling in different ways: Rick drove his Harley-Davidson; others drive a Ford, Honda, Toyota, Mercedes-Benz, or Lexus. Some guys come in their work trucks; one guy drove his tree trimming truck with a big crane on the back. Another guy drove his Lamborghini. Some guys get a ride or take the bus.
- Guys come dressed in every way imaginable: some wear nice Italian leather dress shoes, others casual shoes, many come in wearing tennis shoes, some muddy work boots, others flip-flops. It's not uncommon after meeting with a guy to find mud on the carpet from his boots, but it's no big deal because everybody's welcome to come as they are. Of course, Rick wore his boots.
- Men come to marriage counseling at different times in their lives : some are just starting out, some are retired, but most are just somewhere in between. Guys have been as young as 19 and as old as 73. Some are still dating, some engaged, some have been married only a month, some for a few years, some for many years. I've even met with guys for marriage counseling on their 20th and 47th wedding anniversaries. For some it's their first marriage, others it's their second or third, many have been divorced. Rick had been married for 26 years.
- Some men have kids, some don't. Some have kids from previous relationships. Some share custody of their kids. Some have blended families with step children.
- Guys come from every race and culture: Caucasian, African American, Mexican American, Chinese American men have come to counseling; men born in other countries now living in the U.S., such as India, Lebanon, Iran, Spain; men in mixed culture marriages, such as a German man married to an American woman, or an American man married to a Japanese woman.
Can you see yourself any where in here? You should, because every kind of man goes to marriage counseling - even Harley Riders.
All these men had one thing in common -- they went to marriage counseling because they wanted to make their life better. How about you? Ready for a better life?
Do the types of men who've come to marriage counseling surprise you? Share your thoughts.
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