Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

Facing a Midlife Crisis Divorce

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Jul 13, 2016

If you're contemplating a midlife crisis divorce, pause. Regardless of whether you're the person making the choice to end it or the one that's being forced upon, take a couple of minutes to read this article and see if you can see yourself somewhere in it.

Does a midlife crisis mean divorce? It's certainly easy to think so. After all, when your partner checks out, often moves out, and shows no interest in coming back, what else are you supposed to think?
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Are These Signs of True Love?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Jun 29, 2016

There are a lot of conflicting messages out there about what the signs of true love look like. Is it the fairy tale version offered by Cinderella? Or do the words of Prince Charming from Into the Woods reveal more of how it plays out in real life - "I was raised to be charming, not sincere." What about a couple that stays together for 50 years, but fights every day?

Which are the real signs of true love? Many of us didn't get a good example of love shown to us by our parents (me too), so we really don't know what to look for.
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What To Do When Controlling In-Laws Take Over

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Thu, Jun 16, 2016

There are few things in life that can be as frustrating as someone else telling you what to do and meddling in your personal life. With most people, it would be no problem to tell them you can do things your way and to mind their own business. But what if it’s your controlling in-laws?

The in-law relationship can be a difficult one. When you got married, of course your spouse’s parents were part of the deal. However, they can have their own way of doing things, their own traditions, their own way of seeing the world – and how you should fit in it. If they are controlling in-laws, it can be even harder to navigate the relationship because your spouse is probably used to how they act.
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3 Results of a Verbally Abusive Relationship

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Jun 02, 2016

Most people think a verbally abusive relationship is easy to spot. After all, we all can see it when it's happening in someone else's relationship, but it's much more difficult to see in our own.

Just like it's hard to recognize that we're in a verbally abusive relationship, it's also very hard to see the impact and result. Most often people have been in an abusive relationship for a long time and so it becomes normal. Also, the relationship doesn't typically start out being verbally abusive, nor does it suddenly become one overnight, rather it's almost always a gradual change that makes the behavior even harder to recognize.
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Anyone Else Got Mother-in-Law Problems?

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Wed, May 18, 2016

It’s already May – and that means wedding season is upon us. Weddings are usually such happy occasions, full of love and hope for the future of the bride and groom. As wonderful as it can be, it can also mean mother-in-law problems.

Mother-in-law problems can be one of the biggest issues in an engaged or married couple’s life. In some cases, they’re really more like out-laws. Some mother-in-laws have a way of letting everyone know their displeasure with the new family member over issues big and small – and yet seem to forget their own son or daughter can think or speak for themselves, and in most cases, should.
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How to Know You Need Gaming Addiction Help

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, May 04, 2016

If you’re searching for gaming addiction help, you must be thinking something isn’t right. But you're probably not convinced there's really a problem or that you need help.

The biggest question that trips people up is — Can gaming really be an addiction? Rather than ask that question, how about just asking, is it a problem? It doesn’t have to meet the clinical definition of an addiction for it to be a problem for you. Just be open to the possibility that maybe you could benefit from some gaming addiction help.
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I'm Just Separated - Now What?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Apr 20, 2016

So if you’re just separated, now what? That's a very important question, and one to consider carefully and thoughtfully. Most separations are a jumbled combination of impulsiveness and some thought — but usually not a lot of thought about what the long-term, best interests of everyone involved would be, rather thinking about if and when to leave.

There are two sides to the ‘just separated, now what?’ scenario — the partner who separated and the one who had their partner leave. The one who leaves has usually been thinking about taking this action for a while, yet almost never has much of a plan once out the door. The partner who gets left behind can often be surprised and a lot of times doesn’t want the separation. As a result, commonly each partner will be asking the same question, "what now?", but from a different perspective and looking for a different kind of answer.
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Is Confronting the Other Woman Good or Bad?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Apr 07, 2016

I work all the time with couples that have been rocked by the affects of cheating being discovered. Some times partners ask me about confronting the other woman beforehand, but a lot of times I hear about it only after they've already done it.

Most women whose partner's have cheated want to confront the other woman. It some ways it's a natural, self-protective response. While their reasons can vary, the desire to protect their relationship is a very strong and primary motivator. Unfortunately, many don't think enough about whether or not it's a good idea. Since it feels like the right thing to do, they allow their emotions to determine their actions instead.
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How Come My Husband Doesn't Find Me Attractive After Baby?

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Wed, Mar 23, 2016

As the blog moderator at Guy Stuff Counseling, I see a lot of comments from people about all kinds of things. There are a few topics, however, that come up much more frequently than others, and sometimes a lot of the comments from readers on these topics are very similar to each other. One such topic is women saying their “husband doesn’t find me attractive after baby," and therefore feeling he no longer loves them.

Many of these kinds of comments are from women who just had babies within the last year or two. Here's an example:
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Understanding an Anger Addict

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Mar 10, 2016

Is there really such a thing as an anger addict? Actually, yes, there are people who have an addictive pattern when it comes to anger.

We all can get angry. That's normal. Some of us even have anger issues  that require us to learn how to manage anger.  What makes an anger addict different from these people is that there is a pattern to their anger. It's almost predictable, even rhythmic, and will happen with regularity, a bit like clockwork.
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