Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

What To Do When Your Husband Wants Divorce

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, May 11, 2017

A common scenario in troubled marriages is that one spouse wants to end it while the other wants to stay together. I met with a couple yesterday where the husband wants divorce. This is frequently the case in the marriage counseling I do with spouses. In fact, 2 other couples yesterday had a partner who felt the same way.

It's important to note that it's not always the husband who wants divorce. Just as often it can be the wife who wants to leave. Another common pattern in these struggling relationships is partners having allowed their relationship to drift apart until one or both believes it cannot be fixed and therefore the relationship must end. And both men and women are equally guilty of doing this. Unfortunately, the growing feelings of discontent are most often ignored for a long time and aren't dealt with until more damage has been done.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Divorce Advice

What are the Signs of Cheating?

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Apr 26, 2017

Sometimes it's obvious, while other times it's much less so. The signs of cheating can be right in your face or completely hidden from view.

Many times the discovery starts with a question - Has he always locked his phone? I thought she told me she was going to her friend's? Signs of cheating can be as simple as questions like these in the beginning.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Cheating Spouse

What is Anger Management Counseling?

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Tue, Apr 11, 2017

Getting mad is something that everyone does, so it can be hard to determine when it's normal and when it's a problem. But if you're wondering if it could be a problem for you, then anger management counseling is for you.

Sometimes one of the hardest things to do is to recognize when you need help. The next hardest thing can then be to ask for help, especially if you're a man. But you don't have to know for sure you need help with anger problems before getting anger management counseling. That's what it does is help you figure that out. Here's a little secret - a lot of people need it (and everyone can benefit from learning the techniques it teaches).
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Anger Management

Need Anger Problems Help? Start Here

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Apr 08, 2017

It's pretty common that the person looking for anger problems help isn't the person with the problem. Most people who need help with their anger don't realize it (been there), or deny it (done that too), or both.

If you've landed on this article searching for anger problems help you're most likely either: 1) the partner of, or someone who cares about, a person who gets angry; or 2) the person who gets angry. Your perspective is important to recognize because it will influence how you interpret the rest of this article.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Anger Management

Am I in a Relationship with a Narcissist?

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Mar 25, 2017

It is becoming pretty common to hear people use the negative label of narcissist to describe an ever-increasing number of people - from Millennials, to presidential candidates, or an annoying boss. And more and more people are thinking that they're in a relationship with a narcissist too.

At Guy Stuff we hear from thousands of people every day who are trying to understand what's wrong with their partner. Why do they do what they do? Why do they treat me (the person they say they love) the way they do? One explanation that we regularly hear is, "He is a narcissist."
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Understanding Men

How to Recognize Male Menopause Symptoms

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Mar 11, 2017

Menopause is so commonly associated with women that any suggestion that men can go through it too must be a joke, right? Wrong. Male menopause symptoms are real.

Most articles on symptoms of male menopause focus on the physiological signs, such as erectile dysfunction or insomnia. What are equally or even more important are the psychological and behavioral signs. Most people do not realize there is a problem until extreme behavior arises such as telling a partner, "I don't love you anymore," moving out, or filing for divorce.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Midlife Crisis

Is 'Manopause' Real Or Fake?

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Fri, Mar 10, 2017

Is there really such a thing as 'manopause?' Many people might argue that it's a made up concept to feel sorry and make an excuse for the selfish behavior of men. Maybe. Maybe not.

The idea behind manopause is that men go through physical changes at middle life similar to the hormonal changes women experience with menopause. Certainly possible since it is now well documented that men also experience a reduction in hormone production too (i.e. low testosterone). Commonly such biological changes to our bodies also create psychological changes as well. The behaviors that frequently accompany these mental changes are often labeled a midlife crisis in men by a lot of people.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Midlife Crisis

How Deceptive Sex Addiction Symptoms Can Really Be

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Feb 22, 2017

Part 2 of 2

If you want to have sex all of the time that must be a sex addiction symptom, right? Not necessarily. After all, don't most men want sex all of the time, and certainly they can't all be addicts. Actually symptoms of sex addiction are more complicated than this and don't always have an obvious connection to sex.

In order to better understand sex addiction symptoms, let's go back to the first article in this two-part series, Could My Husband Be a Sex Addict? In it we looked at several men who could possibly be viewed as being sex addicts. Terrence, Mike and Steve all struggle with their sexual behavior in different ways.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Porn Addiction

Could My Husband Be a Sex Addict?

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Feb 09, 2017

Part 1 of 2

When people or their partners are trying to understand a behavior they think is a problem it's common for them to latch onto a term they think describes it, but sometimes in the end doesn't. Just like when we search on Google for something we often find that we have to refine our search term from what we originally thought would work. Sex addict is such a term that frequently gets misapplied and misused.

As an expert in men and their behavior I deal all of the time with people wanting to learn what makes a person a sex addict (both women and men). Frequently when people encounter behavior that is either new or different from what they believe is 'normal' they look to give it a negative label. This is especially true with the subject of sex and leads to men in particular being labeled a sex addict when it really may not be the correct description.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Porn Addiction

It's OK If She Has No Interest in Sex After Baby - It's Nothing Personal

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Wed, Jan 25, 2017

Having a baby is the most incredible thing a woman's body can do. Over the nine months of pregnancy so many changes happen to their bodies, and it takes weeks, or sometimes months, to recover. But what happens when you're ready, and she has no interest in sex after baby?

There are many reasons that contribute to having no interest in sex after a baby, but a few that sometimes men don't really see. Obviously there are the physical and hormonal changes, and of course the sleep deprivation that comes with having a baby in the house, but some other not-so-obvious things are going on, too.
Read More

Preview More Articles About: Sexual Problems