Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

Is Porn Really Bad For You?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Jan 28, 2016

Part 2 of 3

It's natural for men to want to look at women, right? Yes, it is. Men like to look at women, whether they'll admit to it or not, and especially naked women. So is porn really bad for you? Yes, it is.

How can porn be bad for you if it's just a way to do something that comes naturally? That's a very good question. Let's look at some real-life stories about porn users to learn how. Below are a few excerpts of submissions we've received from women whose partners watch porn. Following each story I'll give some feedback and explanation for each situation. If you're wondering if porn is harmful, hopefully these people?s stories will help you see how it can take a natural desire and change it in ways that are unhealthy.

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Looking for Porn Addiction Help? Here It Is.

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Jan 13, 2016

Part 1 of 3

We hear every day from both men and their partners who are looking for porn addiction help. Men want to find out how to stop looking at porn, while the women in their lives are trying to understand why they watch porn and how to help them stop.

Porn is so common, but also so misunderstood. It's becoming more and more accepted as normal in our society, yet causes tremendous problems that are most often unseen, overlooked, or ignored. Men finding women attractive and desiring to look at a naked woman is normal. However, viewing porn takes this natural desire to a whole other level and changes men in unhealthy ways.
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Are There Really Any 'New' Relationship Problems?

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Tue, Dec 29, 2015

Do any 'new' relationship problems really exist or are they just the same old problems arising in a different form? For example, "we can't communicate" is a common complaint, so is text fighting a new problem or just a new version of the age-old communication problem?

At Guy Stuff Counseling we strive to stay on the front lines of solving relationship problems. Our website, blog, forum, and counseling allow us to do just that, but we don't always hear about every issue as soon as it begins, so we're asking for your help.
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I'm Depressed - What Do I Do?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Tue, Dec 15, 2015

Aren't the holidays supposed to be joyful? And not just Christmas and New Year's, but birthdays and the 4th of July are supposed to be happy times too. Well they aren't for everyone, so if you're saying, "I'm depressed - What do I do?" this time of the year, then you're far from alone.

Holidays just aren't enjoyable for everyone. In fact, it's not unusual at all to actually feel down, and even have the thought that "maybe I'm depressed." Despite all of the opportunities to be around others (family, friends, coworkers) and celebrating, they can be one of the loneliest times of the year for many of us. This is one of the biggest reasons people will say, "I hate the holidays."
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What Communication In Marriage Really Looks Like

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Mon, Nov 30, 2015

It's no surprise that communication in marriage is a problem for almost every couple, but why?

Part of the reason is that partners often speak to each other using different terminology, have personal agendas, and self-identity needs that frequently negatively impact the communication in their marriage. Unfortunately, communicating just isn't as simple as exchanging information using the words we speak or write.
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I Love Him, But He Doesn't Love Me

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Nov 19, 2015

One of the most common complaints I hear from unhappy female partners is some version of "I love him, but he doesn't love me." While it's not just women who say this, it does seem that more women feel this way than men.

Don't get me wrong, there certainly are plenty of unhappy men. Just read through the comments left on the articles on the Guy Stuff Counseling blog to find out. But in my experience more women are going to say, "I love him, but he doesn't love me," than men. A lot of guys are just more willing to distract themselves and put up with feeling this way.
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The Silent Treatment In A Relationship Is A Killer

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Oct 29, 2015

Ah, the silent treatment in a relationship - nothing says, I love you, like being ignored. No one likes getting it, yet a lot of us do it.

Sadly, a lot of us know what it feels like to get the silent treatment in our relationship. In couples counseling it's not uncommon for me to hear partners say, "he hasn't spoken to me in a week" or "she ignored me for 3 days after our last fight."
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Is Playing Fantasy Football Gambling?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Oct 15, 2015

Look out! There's a new addiction in town, and it may be coming to a La-Z-Boy chair in your family room too. What began as a friendly competition between friends has now turned into a moneymaking enterprise. Is playing fantasy football is gambling? It can be now.
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Vitally Needed Divorce Help for Women

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Sep 30, 2015

Every Top 10 list of life's biggest stressors includes it. And it's usually right at the top, right below the biggest one of all, death of a loved one. So if you're a woman facing this life altering process, it's certainly understandable that you would be looking for some specific divorce help for women.

As a marriage counselor it's not my goal for couples to call it quits. I want to help people fix their relationships and make things work, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. So unfortunately I do divorce counseling too. I've found that one of the most common forms of divorce help women need is getting the courage to take the risk of living without their husband.
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3 Signs of Text Message Cheating

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Mon, Sep 14, 2015

It used to be if you wanted to have an affair it took some effort, but not any more. Sadly, text message cheating has become a simple way to cheat without much work at all.

Sometimes it's intentional and other times not. Regardless, text message cheating is a really easy way to start cheating, and often times not even realize it. Someone gets your cell number (a coworker, someone from the gym, a person you met at a party) and starts sending you friendly texts. Before you know it it's very easy to be having full-on conversations by text -- and most troubling to do so anytime, anywhere.
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