Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

One Question Anger Management Test Anyone Can Take

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Oct 15, 2014

Most of us don't think of ourselves as needing anger management -- even those of us who really do. It's easy to think the person who with anger problems is the out of control guy, like the Adam Sandler character in the movie Anger Management, or Charlie Sheen (the real one, not his TV show character). Wouldn't it be helpful if there was a quick and easy anger management test?

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Tags: Anger Management

Porn Side Effects Aren't Always So Obvious

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Tue, Sep 30, 2014

It seems that every day porn becomes more and more acceptable in our culture. Sitcoms make fun of it and comedians joke about it like it's a normal thing all guys do. Men tell their partners when they get caught that "every guy does it" . . . "it's a guy thing." But porn side effects are never mentioned along with these endorsements.
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Tags: Porn Addiction

Learn The Signs of Abusive Relationships - #1 Is 'Stand By Your Man'

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Fri, Sep 19, 2014

Most people by now have seen the shocking video of NFL player Ray Rice punching and knocking out his then-fiancee (now wife), Janay Palmer, in a casino elevator. For many it was an eye-opening example of what relationship abuse looks like. This truly was a peak behind closed doors, because in most cases of domestic abuse there is no video, no witnesses, and in half the cases, no police report. So are there signs of abusive relationships when there is no tape? Yes.

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Tags: Abusive Relationships

I'm Fighting With My Husband Constantly

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sun, Sep 07, 2014

A woman told me this week she's -- "fighting with my husband constantly." "Is that normal?" she asked. Yes and no I told her.

Disagreements in a relationship are normal. We all disagree with our partner from time to time. And if both partners are expressing their true thoughts and feelings, there's bound to be some disagreement. That's normal.

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Tags: Marriage Problems

I Think My Husband is Depressed - Can I Save My Marriage?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Aug 30, 2014

Part 2 of 3

Let's continue looking at Carrie's marriage. She's wondering, "is my husband is depressed?"

Carrie's husband is unpredictable -- in his responses, behavior, and especially his emotions. She says she walks around on eggshells because of it. But could this really be a sign her husband is depressed?

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Tags: Understanding Men

Suicide in Men Is More Common Than We Think

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sun, Aug 24, 2014

We all got another example of what suicide in men looks like with the death of Robin Williams. One of the unfortunate things about his death and the depression that caused it is that they really aren’t that uncommon.

So let's talk about what suicide in men often really looks like. I had a client last week take some sleeping medication and then follow that up by drinking a bottle of gin (the large handle kind). He claims he wasn't trying to kill himself. Nevertheless, this is what suicide in men often looks like -- an emotionally driven poor decision.

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Tags: Understanding Men

Depression in Men - What Depression & Men Looks Like

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Aug 23, 2014

Depression in men can be hard to see sometimes. The reasons that cause depression in men don’t have to be though. Take a look at the list of life events below and see if you can see how these could cause anyone to feel depressed.

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Tags: Understanding Men

Depressed Men - Robin Williams Was Just One Of Millions

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Mon, Aug 18, 2014

Depressed Men? "Yes, Virginia there really is a Santa Clause (and depressed men)." And truthfully, there are a lot more of them than most people think. They can just be a little hard to spot.

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Tags: Understanding Men

Looking at Other Women - Why Men Look & How To Stop

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Aug 09, 2014

A lot of men struggle with looking at other women. Here's a submission I received from just such a guy and my recommendations on how he can learn to stop.

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Tags: Understanding Men

How Do Cheaters Feel About Their Cheating?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Mon, Jul 28, 2014

When you discover you've been cheated on you feel a range of emotions -- shock, anger, hurt, just to name a few -- and often at their extremes. At some point everyone shifts from feeling to thinking and wants to know how do cheaters feel. Is he or she feeling any pain like I am?

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Tags: Cheating Spouse