Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

Alcohol Addiction Signs That Aren’t So Obvious

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Oct 19, 2016

Alcohol addiction signs aren't always what we'd commonly think of, like a guy passed out at a bar or someone panhandling on the street corner for beer money.

The men I treat for alcohol addiction often have signs that are much more subtle. They want to have a drink every time they go out; they seek out social events where alcohol is going to be readily available, such as golfing; they believe they aren't any fun to be around unless they're drinking.
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Is Staying Together For The Kids The Right Thing To Do?

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Wed, Oct 05, 2016

Should we stay together for the kids?” is probably the first thing most couples that are struggling in their relationship contemplate. No one wants to break up their family or have their kids suffer by shuffling weekly between houses. Looking at it from that point of view, it seems like an obvious answer – of course staying together for the kids is right. Right?

Maybe not. There are several important things to consider when figuring out if a relationship is worth saving. Certainly when there are kids, they have to play a part in the decision. But staying together for the kids can’t be the only (or even the main) reason to stay together.
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Is Surviving Infidelity Even Possible?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Sep 22, 2016

At first, surviving infidelity isn't even imaginable. How can you survive when your life is over? How will you ever get your life back? Isn't it gone forever?

The shock, actually it's really horror, that your partner could do this to you makes surviving infidelity seem impossible. Then comes the hurt, which can be overwhelming and suffocating all at the same time. Next comes the anger. For some, these feelings are separate and distinct, but for others they come all wrapped up in one gigantic ball of pain.
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Ghosting In A Relationship Is Hiding, Not Communicating

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Wed, Sep 07, 2016

Ghosting in a relationship is really like the ultimate silent treatment. It’s not exactly new, but over the last few years, it has become a far more prevalent way for us to handle the ending our relationships.

The combination of phones, apps and online dating has made meeting people less personal, and therefore less worthy of taking the time to communicate how we feel.
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Need Anger Problems Help? Start Here

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Aug 25, 2016

It's pretty common that the person looking for anger problems help isn't the person with the problem. Most people who need help with anger don't realize it (been there), or deny it (done that too), or both.

If you've landed on this article searching for anger problems help you're most likely either: 1) the partner of, or someone who cares about, a person who gets angry; or 2) the person who gets angry. Your perspective is important to recognize because it will influence how you interpret the rest of this article.
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Real-Life Pornography Statistics Explained

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Aug 10, 2016

There are a lot of out of date and inaccurate pornography statistics on the web. Surprisingly, counter to the high level of usage, not much scientific research has actually been done on porn use, and its effects on viewers and their partners. If you take a look around you'll find a lot of numbers from the early stages of the Internet, like the late 1990s and early 2000s, but not much that's more current and reliable.

It turns out that nobody wants to talk about porn, even scholarly researchers. The limited pornography statistics that are available are almost entirely based upon self-report. In other words, asking a man, "do you look at porn?" Asking someone to be honest about something they do in secret, are ashamed of, and do everything to hide is naturally going to be fraught with the potential for error.
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Your Husband Lost His Job – Here's How That Impacts Him

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Thu, Jul 28, 2016

Has your husband lost his job? It’s not only scary and devastating for him, but for you, too. There are so many things men go through when they lose a job, many of which women don’t really consider or maybe don’t even realize.

In 2008, my husband lost his job for the first time. The company he worked for went out of business. It was unbelievably scary. We had a preschooler and a new baby, lived in new city near no one we knew, and even if we were ready for me to go back to work, it wouldn’t have mattered because childcare costs were much more than I would have made.

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Facing a Midlife Crisis Divorce

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Jul 13, 2016

If you're contemplating a midlife crisis divorce, pause. Regardless of whether you're the person making the choice to end it or the one that's being forced upon, take a couple of minutes to read this article and see if you can see yourself somewhere in it.

Does a midlife crisis mean divorce? It's certainly easy to think so. After all, when your partner checks out, often moves out, and shows no interest in coming back, what else are you supposed to think?
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Are These Signs of True Love?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Jun 29, 2016

There are a lot of conflicting messages out there about what the signs of true love look like. Is it the fairy tale version offered by Cinderella? Or do the words of Prince Charming from Into the Woods reveal more of how it plays out in real life - "I was raised to be charming, not sincere." What about a couple that stays together for 50 years, but fights every day?

Which are the real signs of true love? Many of us didn't get a good example of love shown to us by our parents (me too), so we really don't know what to look for.
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What To Do When Controlling In-Laws Take Over

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Thu, Jun 16, 2016

There are few things in life that can be as frustrating as someone else telling you what to do and meddling in your personal life. With most people, it would be no problem to tell them you can do things your way and to mind their own business. But what if it’s your controlling in-laws?

The in-law relationship can be a difficult one. When you got married, of course your spouse’s parents were part of the deal. However, they can have their own way of doing things, their own traditions, their own way of seeing the world – and how you should fit in it. If they are controlling in-laws, it can be even harder to navigate the relationship because your spouse is probably used to how they act.
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