Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

Need Anger Problems Help? Start Here

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Aug 25, 2016

It's pretty common that the person looking for anger problems help isn't the person with the problem. Most people who need help with anger don't realize it (been there), or deny it (done that too), or both.

If you've landed on this article searching for anger problems help you're most likely either: 1) the partner of, or someone who cares about, a person who gets angry; or 2) the person who gets angry. Your perspective is important to recognize because it will influence how you interpret the rest of this article.
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Real-Life Pornography Statistics Explained

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Aug 10, 2016

There are a lot of out of date and inaccurate pornography statistics on the web. Surprisingly, counter to the high level of usage, not much scientific research has actually been done on porn use, and its effects on viewers and their partners. If you take a look around you'll find a lot of numbers from the early stages of the Internet, like the late 1990s and early 2000s, but not much that's more current and reliable.

It turns out that nobody wants to talk about porn, even scholarly researchers. The limited pornography statistics that are available are almost entirely based upon self-report. In other words, asking a man, "do you look at porn?" Asking someone to be honest about something they do in secret, are ashamed of, and do everything to hide is naturally going to be fraught with the potential for error.
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Your Husband Lost His Job – Here's How That Impacts Him

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Thu, Jul 28, 2016

Has your husband lost his job? It’s not only scary and devastating for him, but for you, too. There are so many things men go through when they lose a job, many of which women don’t really consider or maybe don’t even realize.

In 2008, my husband lost his job for the first time. The company he worked for went out of business. It was unbelievably scary. We had a preschooler and a new baby, lived in new city near no one we knew, and even if we were ready for me to go back to work, it wouldn’t have mattered because childcare costs were much more than I would have made.

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Facing a Midlife Crisis Divorce

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Jul 13, 2016

If you're contemplating a midlife crisis divorce, pause. Regardless of whether you're the person making the choice to end it or the one that's being forced upon, take a couple of minutes to read this article and see if you can see yourself somewhere in it.

Does a midlife crisis mean divorce? It's certainly easy to think so. After all, when your partner checks out, often moves out, and shows no interest in coming back, what else are you supposed to think?
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Are These Signs of True Love?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Jun 29, 2016

There are a lot of conflicting messages out there about what the signs of true love look like. Is it the fairy tale version offered by Cinderella? Or do the words of Prince Charming from Into the Woods reveal more of how it plays out in real life - "I was raised to be charming, not sincere." What about a couple that stays together for 50 years, but fights every day?

Which are the real signs of true love? Many of us didn't get a good example of love shown to us by our parents (me too), so we really don't know what to look for.
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What To Do When Controlling In-Laws Take Over

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Thu, Jun 16, 2016

There are few things in life that can be as frustrating as someone else telling you what to do and meddling in your personal life. With most people, it would be no problem to tell them you can do things your way and to mind their own business. But what if it’s your controlling in-laws?

The in-law relationship can be a difficult one. When you got married, of course your spouse’s parents were part of the deal. However, they can have their own way of doing things, their own traditions, their own way of seeing the world – and how you should fit in it. If they are controlling in-laws, it can be even harder to navigate the relationship because your spouse is probably used to how they act.
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3 Results of a Verbally Abusive Relationship

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Jun 02, 2016

Most people think a verbally abusive relationship is easy to spot. After all, we all can see it when it's happening in someone else's relationship, but it's much more difficult to see in our own.

Just like it's hard to recognize that we're in a verbally abusive relationship, it's also very hard to see the impact and result. Most often people have been in an abusive relationship for a long time and so it becomes normal. Also, the relationship doesn't typically start out being verbally abusive, nor does it suddenly become one overnight, rather it's almost always a gradual change that makes the behavior even harder to recognize.
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Anyone Else Got Mother-in-Law Problems?

Posted by Michelle Walsh, GSCC Product Manager on Wed, May 18, 2016

It’s already May – and that means wedding season is upon us. Weddings are usually such happy occasions, full of love and hope for the future of the bride and groom. As wonderful as it can be, it can also mean mother-in-law problems.

Mother-in-law problems can be one of the biggest issues in an engaged or married couple’s life. In some cases, they’re really more like out-laws. Some mother-in-laws have a way of letting everyone know their displeasure with the new family member over issues big and small – and yet seem to forget their own son or daughter can think or speak for themselves, and in most cases, should.
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How to Know You Need Gaming Addiction Help

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, May 04, 2016

If you’re searching for gaming addiction help, you must be thinking something isn’t right. But you're probably not convinced there's really a problem or that you need help.

The biggest question that trips people up is — Can gaming really be an addiction? Rather than ask that question, how about just asking, is it a problem? It doesn’t have to meet the clinical definition of an addiction for it to be a problem for you. Just be open to the possibility that maybe you could benefit from some gaming addiction help.
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I'm Just Separated - Now What?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Wed, Apr 20, 2016

So if you’re just separated, now what? That's a very important question, and one to consider carefully and thoughtfully. Most separations are a jumbled combination of impulsiveness and some thought — but usually not a lot of thought about what the long-term, best interests of everyone involved would be, rather thinking about if and when to leave.

There are two sides to the ‘just separated, now what?’ scenario — the partner who separated and the one who had their partner leave. The one who leaves has usually been thinking about taking this action for a while, yet almost never has much of a plan once out the door. The partner who gets left behind can often be surprised and a lot of times doesn’t want the separation. As a result, commonly each partner will be asking the same question, "what now?", but from a different perspective and looking for a different kind of answer.
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