Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

Why Male Midlife Crisis Is So Confusing

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Mar 14, 2015

One of the standard features of a male midlife crisis is confusion. The man in midlife crisis is confused, his partner is really confused, and if there are kids involved then they have no clue what's going on other than their parents are acting pretty strangely.

Another hallmark of male midlife crisis is change. This is one of the things that makes most partners so confused and scared. A midlife crisis is cry out for change. And it brings with it change - often very abrupt, shocking, radical change.

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Tags: Midlife Crisis

Is Porn Erectile Dysfunction Fact or Fiction?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Fri, Feb 27, 2015

is-porn-erectile-dysfunction-realPorn is a pretty uncomfortable subject for nearly everyone to discuss. Something that typically accompanies porn viewing that can be particular embarrassing is masturbation. And now a new problem has surfaced around porn and masturbation in the form of porn erectile dysfunction.

But wait a minute, isn't it just older guys who have erectile dysfunction? Yes, that is usually true, although men of any age can have this problem. Porn erectile dysfunction, however, is a new problem, different from regular ED, and affecting men of all ages.
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Tags: Porn Addiction

When You Are In Love But Feeling Alone

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Feb 07, 2015

Many people are both in love but feeling alone at the same time. Is that really possible? Yes, and, unfortunately, it’s pretty common.

“I feel alone in my marriage,” Renee said, as her husband sat motionless next to her. He made no effort to connect or comfort her as she shared the isolation and hurt she felt. “I’ve read that many women are feel alone in their relationships.” I told her that’s true. Fortunately for Renee, her husband, Greg, was sitting next to her in marriage counseling with me because he wants to learn how to change that, but he just doesn’t know how -- yet.

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Tags: Relationship Advice

Real-life Abusive Relationship Stories - Learn What Not to Do

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Jan 24, 2015

One of the most frequent things partners of abusers say is, "I love you, but..." This is a common theme in abusive relationship stories.

Partners in abusive relationships regularly use the "I love him, but..." reasoning. And it goes the same way for the opposite sex, "I love her, but..." However, stating our love isn't supposed to be followed by a "but" - because "but" contrasts or negates what it follows.

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Tags: Abusive Relationships

How Come My Husband Isn't Affectionate Anymore?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Jan 10, 2015

my-husband-is-not-affectionate-towards-me-anymoreWhen you've come to the realization my husband isn't affectionate anymore it may seem like it happened all of a sudden, but most likely the affection has been disappearing slowly for quite a while.
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Tags: Love Is Gone

What Alcohol Abuse Symptoms in Men Look Like

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Dec 20, 2014

symptom-of-man-abusing-alcoholAbusing alcohol is extremely common in our society today. In fact, it's probably the most socially acceptable behavior of the addictions I treat. This makes it important to understand what alcohol abuse symptoms in men can look like.

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Tags: Addictions

Dealing With A Cheating Spouse Is Difficult and Tricky

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Dec 06, 2014

There are many things our partners can do that can cause us to question ourselves. However, few things cause this to happen more than cheating. Dealing with a cheating spouse is difficult enough, but the almost automatic response to question ourselves just makes it even harder.

When dealing with a cheating spouse it's normal to ask how and why this happened, and in trying to answer those questions to assume that it has something to do with us. This line of thought, asking what we did wrong to cause the cheating happen, can take us down a bad path if we're not very careful.

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Tags: Cheating Spouse

7 Things To Do When You Say "My Wife Doesn't Love Me"

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Nov 22, 2014

husband-says-my-wife-doesnt-love-meIt's common in counseling to hear wives say they don't feel loved by their husbands anymore. But, believe it or not, husbands can feel unloved by their wives too. Although it can take some time when I'm counseling a man to get him to finally admit, "My wife doesn't love me." 

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Tags: Love Is Gone

How To Stop A Divorce With 3 Words

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Thu, Nov 13, 2014

I counsel a lot of couples that are on the verge of divorce. Many come looking for help in determining whether or not their marriage can be fixed. Most aren't asking so much how to stop a divorce, as they are is divorce inevitable.

Some of these partners have been unhappy and thinking about divorce for quite awhile. For others divorce talk has been triggered by an event such as the discovery of cheating or a series of events like repeated abuse of alcohol. 

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Tags: Divorce Advice

Real-life Midlife Crisis Stories

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Fri, Oct 31, 2014

mens-midlife-crisis-storiesWhen you're struggling it's easy to feel like you're the only one who feels that way. Regardless of the problem, I can assure you you're not alone. Here's a midlife crisis story from a lonely, confused woman desperately trying to understand what's happening with her man.

Hi Kurt, I am really confused about this whole midlife crisis story with my husband: I don't know where he is at in the stages of his midlife crisis/transition. He has been staying with his mother but he has also had more than one issue going on.
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Tags: Midlife Crisis