Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
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Contents
Part 3 of 3 on Porn for Women
It’s no secret that many men are turned on by and enjoy porn.
And when asked and being honest, most of those men will tell you they don’t see a problem with porn.
But what do women think about porn?
Before you read any further, take a moment and consider what you believe most women think about porn.
As with men, women’s opinions about porn can vary. But if you guessed that most women feel somewhere between conflicted about porn and wholly against it, you’d be on the right track.
It shouldn’t be surprising that most women are less interested and accepting of porn. It’s something that most believe sets unrealistic expectations about sex and creates a form of intangible competition for the attention of the men they love.
As you’ll see below, for women the overall effect of porn from a psychological perspective can be very detrimental.
In the last 2 articles, we answered the questions: Do Women Like Porn? And, Do Women Watch Porn?
Now let's hear from some real women and find out what do women think about porn.
Below are excerpts from the comments section of just one of our articles on porn, the majority of which are aimed at examining men and porn.
In response to the article, Why Men Watch Porn, many women have written in to express their opinion and explain how porn makes them feel.
Here is what just a few of those women think about porn and what it does to them when their husbands or boyfriends choose to watch it:
What are you noticing about how these women think and feel about porn?
See any themes here?
So, how do women feel about porn?
These women make it very clear that they feel porn is selfish and dishonest among other things.
It makes them feel like they’re not good enough for their partner and not important enough. They feel betrayed, hurt, and angry.
The impact of porn on a woman’s self-esteem can be devastating. Not to mention the effects it has on the trust and intimacy in their relationship.
While many men feel that porn is a victimless pastime, as you can see, many women will tell you something very different. And it’s these feelings that need to be considered more by the men in their lives.
Porn can be a very touchy subject in relationships. Ultimately, whether it has a place in yours is a personal decision.
But in making that decision, understanding what women really think about porn is crucial.
So, if you’re trying to determine what to do about your porn viewing and if the woman in your life will be (or really is) accepting of it, remember the following things:
For more information related to women and porn, read the first 2 articles in this series and you'll know this isn't what all women think about porn (links are in the Related Articles section below).
But these comments by far represent how the majority of women we work with and hear from at Guy Stuff think and feel about porn.
You can read even more comments from women about porn on these popular posts:
What do you think about porn? Please share your thoughts with others below.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 21, 2012, updated on December 12, 2019 and has been updated again with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Wondering if Porn Is Cheating? Find out what psychology experts say about whether Porn Is Cheating.
Breaking a porn addiction isn’t easy. Learn how to handle relapses here.
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You all need to take a chill. Men watch porn for the same reason women read romance novels. That Christian Grey of 50 Shades of Grey has the exact humiliating effect his porn has on you. Porn is good for men coz it gives men options.if you feel inadequate or unsexy because he watches porn,then the problem is with you not his porn stash. Work on your issues.
Because what you don't know is that your huge dildo also makes him feel inadequate. How many living men can match that huge thing?? I encourage all men to watch porn coz porn empowers men and frees them from the spell of the vagina. You can't use sex to control a man who has a laptop full of porn. He will simply go there and get his relief.
Now this is the secret reason why women hate porn. Its also the reason why they hate prostitutes. It boils down to competition. They hate how porn forces them to up their game and improve their sex factor.
And most women have become lazy after getting married and no longer keep themselves hot. To them those sexy girls in dirty videos are an enemy.
Wow. What an eye opening discussion. I thought I was the only one who had this problem. My boyfriend also watched porn before he met me and after 1-2 years in the relationship only I got to know that he was watching. He thought it was completely okay and natural. First of all he didn't lie to me. I'm grateful for it. But it really hurt me. I constantly had fights with him over porn. What he said was it's a guy thing. He tried so hard to justify it. I said I will break my ties with him if he doesn't stop because I knew I can't live with something like that. I am a very emotional person. I explained to him how bad he would feel if i looked at other men and masturbated. I am not sick to look at other men though I said that like that.He sort of tried to understand my point of view so we came to an agreement. If I physically open myself up to him either by sending photos of me(you know what i mean) or doing things with him he would completely stop. He promised me. At first I thought I could immediately make him stop. Later I realized it wasn't practical. He needed time.It's something he has been doing for many years, so I gave him time. I was calm. I was upset when he watched but I didn't blast out at him like I did earlier.I just showed that I am hurt.I appreciated every time he watched less per week, less per month. Eventually it was under control. Initial years of our relationship was mostly through text,later we started experimenting things at my house whenever we had the chance. (my parents didn't know). The more he grew closer to me , the more he grew away from porn. Today I can proudly say that he doesn't watch porn. He loves me and appreciates me and tells me how beautiful and sexy I am. He makes me feel so confident. He's not selfish to get things done for himself only. He makes sure I get something too. We have awesome sex. We try out new things. It feels great. No more porn people in our beautiful relationship. Lastly what I think is it's better to talk and solve things with your partner. When we girls blast out at them they tend to hide. Be open to conversation. Make him feel comfortable. Show that you can help him get rid of the habit and strengthen the real relationship. If he's willing to do something for you(take an effort to try to stop watching porn),then you know he loves you. If not I think there's no point wasting your beautiful self to a man who doesn't deserve you. Let them dwell in their fantasy and die unloved. I'm sure there are plenty of men strong enough to understand that life is much more beautiful without porn, than those weaker lot who chase unrealistic fantasies.
I read most of the comments here, but yours got my attention. Last night I got into a huge fight with my wife because (I’m not sure how the coversation turned into it, but) I told her I watched porn this weekend, normally I just masturbate to avoid wet dreams and leave it all over the bed. But for about a whole year (during pregnancy and now almost 5 months postpartum) she didn’t want to engage in sex (we started our marriage with a very active sexual life, about 5-10x a week) I’m taking now antiseizure medication, and it lowers my ability to mantain an erection without constant stimulation. We tried two times after a few months from the birth, but 1 I wouldn’t be able to feel a lot, and 2 I smelled something that made me lost concentration and lose power. The second time we tried it started out great, the baby was asleep and I started it by kissing her wildly... all of a sudden she stopped and said “our dog is watching us”, she completely killed it again, and then the baby woke up. She says she feels betrayed because I watched porn a few times, but I did it because it helps you release some tension and feel more concentrated in what you are doing. Now she won't talk to me because she says I prefer other women over her... but come on, based on my history, what can I do to make her understand/close this chapter without blaming it on her, but maling her understand that it is not betrayal as she portrays it. I’m really annoyed and angry about this situation
I've read through all your comments above, and want you to know my situation. Married a decade now, and at the start our sex was simply wonderful. She even asked me to do different things. Imagine that. But as the decade rolled on, her interest slowly, steadily declined despite my ongoing sharp attention to her, everything from regular passes at her to attending to her sexual needs and regularly attesting to her beauty and sexiness. She just dried up her sexual interest, to the point that now in 2019 she deals with it as an outsider...looking in a window at our lost sex life. There is not time of the day or week that she can discuss it; any time I need to bring up the topic for a resolution, it just catapults her into sadness and/or bitter anger. So ladies...know that even steady and regular attention paid to you can lead to zero return, and intense frustration for your man. I am living proof of the hell in which I exist (in this topic).
Im getting a divorce of cheating and porn....
As a 27 year old guy who has always been single, I came to terms with the lies that pornography is 2 months ago.
I was always filled with regret whenever I did it. I finally decided to make a firm decision to not do it ever again.
On day 23, I faced the most difficult and incredible battle in myself as I fought an urge to view pornography. I remember how viciously my body wanted that drug but I, somehow, was able to say no to it and didn't allow my hand to defile myself. That's how I began to see it. I knew I couldn't just stop and leave a void.
I knew my own will is not enough to keep me from falling so I surrendered to God. I found that my brain ventured into memories of images from porn time to time but because I had won that one battle on day 23, I knew that God has given me the strength to bear temptation.
I realized that I cannot control, nor fight, those images that haunt me from over a decade of pornography. I cannot stop those thoughts from coming and trying to will only make those images clearer, larger and more dominating. I regretted ever having put those images in my head. I repented from the very core of my being, my very soul. The way to beat an urge is to not allow yourself to use your imagination for imagining fantasies.
Now, almost 2 months later, I've found that pornography has given me another gift I have to return. My habit of looking at women and their physical attributes in daily life. Whether its grocery shopping, or walking down the street - my eyes keep wandering to look at women. My brain is trying to find the little highs it gets when it sees an attractive woman because I've taken from it the false highs I was giving it for years.
Only yesterday I looked at a woman who was dressed with a low cut top with lust as she walked by. I was haunted by that image for hours. I prayed for strength and knew that this storm that descended on me was my own during.
Today, I woke up feeling light. I'm beginning to recognize now how absolutely pleasant I feel the day after beating a huge urge without giving in. It's like everything is brighter and more vibrant.
After reading through the comments above by so many women, I am so grateful that I have started on this path. Every day, I pray to God for a godly wife. I pray that he protect her wherever she is, and help her in her own growth, to win her own battles.
Urges keep coming. Temptations keep coming. The beast within is incredibly powerful, like a hungry lion, prowling at the threshold. But God is greater. Only through his power I have learned to preserve myself.
I know I have been given a great blessing that I became aware of what pornography was doing to me. I don't ever want my future wife to have the same complaints as the women here.
I can start loving her even now that I havent met her.
I'm blessed that I never let my secret sin escalate to the point of losing my virginity.
Every orgasm I've ever had...has been stolen from my future wife to whom it has rightfully belonged. No more.
I hope more people realize this in time.