Porn Addiction - What Average Guy Porn Addiction Looks Like
Posted by Kurt Smith, MFT, AFC on Sun, Aug 29, 2010
Part 1 of 3
Jay is just an average guy -- with a porn addiction. The idea that he had a porn addiction never occurred to Jay. Porn was just a regular part of his life, not a problem.
Usually after work he'd come home, grab a beer, and surf the Internet to relax for awhile before Charlene would get home with the kids. Often he'd end up on porn sites. Jay had some favorites that he liked, but buddies would also send him pics and clips from porn sites.
Jay and Charlene had different sleep routines. She went to bed early, he stayed up late. Jay liked to watch Sports Center on ESPN after Charlene went to bed, but would also channel surf and could easily find something 'entertaining'on Cinemax or Showtime.
Once in a while, the guys at work would go out for a drink after work on Fridays and typically they'd go to a strip club.
Pretty normal guy behavior he thought. Some of it Charlene knew about, some of it she didn't.
What Jay didn't recognize was how much he came to rely on porn to relieve stress, escape, and just to be able to relax. He hadn't noticed how regular it had become.
- When you have a need for or dependence on porn, that's one of the signs of porn addiction.
He never saw how porn stimulated his brain and created more and more desire to look at women. He didn't see how the late night cable shows and occasional strip club visit fed his desire to look at porn.
- When you need to have more and more stimulation, that's one of the signs of porn addiction.
Jay also couldn't see the affects on his sex life with Charlene -- they would often go long periods without sex, while at other times he wanted sex even more than usual for him, and he pushed Charlene to have sex in ways he'd seen on porn sites.
- When your sex life is affected by viewing porn, that's one of the signs of porn addiction.
Porn addiction often looks from the outside like what many people would describe as pretty normal guy behavior -- most guys just like to look at girls. But when you can see what's going on from the inside, the addiction becomes easier to see.
If you think you may have a porn addiction, or know someone who may, don't struggle alone. Get some help from a therapist experienced in porn addiction.
* This is the first article of three examining porn addiction. In the next article Jay will share what it's like for a guy who looks at porn; in the last article Jay shares how his wife found out about his porn addiction and what happened afterwords. Sign-up for our Blog on the right side of this page and be sure not to miss any parts of this story (you can get notified by email or RSS feed).