Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
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Contents
Part 3 of 3 on Porn for Women
It’s no secret that many men are turned on by and enjoy porn.
And when asked and being honest, most of those men will tell you they don’t see a problem with porn.
But what do women think about porn?
Before you read any further, take a moment and consider what you believe most women think about porn.
As with men, women’s opinions about porn can vary. But if you guessed that most women feel somewhere between conflicted about porn and wholly against it, you’d be on the right track.
It shouldn’t be surprising that most women are less interested and accepting of porn. It’s something that most believe sets unrealistic expectations about sex and creates a form of intangible competition for the attention of the men they love.
As you’ll see below, for women the overall effect of porn from a psychological perspective can be very detrimental.
In the last 2 articles, we answered the questions: Do Women Like Porn? And, Do Women Watch Porn?
Now let's hear from some real women and find out what do women think about porn.
Below are excerpts from the comments section of just one of our articles on porn, the majority of which are aimed at examining men and porn.
In response to the article, Why Men Watch Porn, many women have written in to express their opinion and explain how porn makes them feel.
Here is what just a few of those women think about porn and what it does to them when their husbands or boyfriends choose to watch it:
What are you noticing about how these women think and feel about porn?
See any themes here?
So, how do women feel about porn?
These women make it very clear that they feel porn is selfish and dishonest among other things.
It makes them feel like they’re not good enough for their partner and not important enough. They feel betrayed, hurt, and angry.
The impact of porn on a woman’s self-esteem can be devastating. Not to mention the effects it has on the trust and intimacy in their relationship.
While many men feel that porn is a victimless pastime, as you can see, many women will tell you something very different. And it’s these feelings that need to be considered more by the men in their lives.
Porn can be a very touchy subject in relationships. Ultimately, whether it has a place in yours is a personal decision.
But in making that decision, understanding what women really think about porn is crucial.
So, if you’re trying to determine what to do about your porn viewing and if the woman in your life will be (or really is) accepting of it, remember the following things:
For more information related to women and porn, read the first 2 articles in this series and you'll know this isn't what all women think about porn (links are in the Related Articles section below).
But these comments by far represent how the majority of women we work with and hear from at Guy Stuff think and feel about porn.
You can read even more comments from women about porn on these popular posts:
What do you think about porn? Please share your thoughts with others below.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 21, 2012, updated on December 12, 2019 and has been updated again with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Wondering if Porn Is Cheating? Find out what psychology experts say about whether Porn Is Cheating.
Breaking a porn addiction isn’t easy. Learn how to handle relapses here.
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Using the pen name Martha Emms, I have a fictional memoir that will be coming out soon about Nicky's (main character), husbands escalating addiction to porn and it's affect on their marriage. I believe even though it is written from the wife's point of view, it will be enlightening and bring about much conversation from both sexes.
Well, I just want to talk about this topic because I'm going through the same thing, my husband-to-be likes watching porn too much, what makes me feel so sad and stupid at times is that he thinks I won't find out but I know he visits porn websites everytime I'm out of the bedroom, yes, we have a TV in the bedroom so he gets an easy access to porn. I used to think it was OK but no, it's not OK, I don't feel attractive, I feel that I'm not good enough or I can't keep him satisfied and that makes me feel so angry and disgusted.
One thing that I notice over and over again as I read through various blog responses here and elsewhere is the nature of secrecy and deceit around porn. It seems that porn users are afraid to own their actions. They lie to their partners and by doing so, set up a false reality. The "relationship" that is occurring with their partner is bogus, and my experience of this is that as I continued to trust my husband, which is normal in marriage I continued to break down emotionally. The degree to which I continued to trust him was the degree to which I was breaking down. He knew the truth. I did not consciously know the truth, but the truth was revealing itself through my responses to what was occurring. The more I listened to my responses, the more I was able to finally discover what was really going on in my marriage. Unfortunately, my husband preferred his porn to a relationship with me, and that was the end of our marriage. I wasn't interested in an open marriage. It seems that many people are in "open" marriages that include other people. I just wasn't...I couldn't incorporate my husband's porn queens into my reality....We did not share the same values.
Women know instinctively that porn is dangerous to life energy. The part of me that is threatened by porn is the part of me that knows that it limits sexual expression. Men think they're getting "variety", but in my opinion, they are actually narrowing themselves, and ultimately annihilating their own partner from their "harem"...The end result is a total loss for everyone. Everyone loses when a man can no longer cherish the woman he committed his life to and see her as the exquisite beauty that she is....Everyone loses, but mostly the porn user, because the woman can get out of this intact. I know, because I have. Men say that women are limited in their sexual expression because they won't view porn, but women know that it is quite the opposite. Most women are not willing to narrow their sexual expression to the visual sense alone. Most women are multi-sensual and experience sexuality multi-sensually and emotionally. The cannot narrow themselves to the 2D version of sex that porn offers. It's too limiting. It's not a woman's problem that she doesn't like porn. It is threatening to the life force when men can no longer have physical relations with flesh and blood women. It is a "death" of sorts, and women KNOW this. As women are dealing with pornified men, it's becoming evident that there are very few men anymore who can match a woman in her sexuality. Men do run to porn, because they are afraid. It's ironic that they annihilate so much in themselves and others in their effort to stay safe.
This is bang-on, Kat! Thank you for sharing your perspective! I have shared my fears with my husband in my own words, but I am going to show him your post, because it's much better at expressing what I was trying to tell him.
I wrote a book, PORTRAIT OF OUR MARRIAGE Memoirs of Love, Family, the Internet, and Obsession, is not a fairy tale romance but an intense psychological romance that takes you behind closed doors into the private and forbidden world of a couple dealing with porn addiction. It is one woman's experience as over the years of their marriage, her husbands casual interest in porn becomes an obsession.
This story will touch your heart and shock you. It is the journey of a marriage in the techno age. The struggle of their love versus addiction and how the choices they made ultimately changes and destroys parts of who each of them were.