Counseling Men Blog
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What Do Women Think About Porn?

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Jul 21, 2012

What Do Women Think About PornPart 3 of 3 on Porn for Women

What do women think about porn? What's your guess? Before you read any further, what do you think women think about porn?

In the last 2 posts we've answered the questions: Do Women Like Porn and Do Women Watch Porn? Now let's hear from some real women and find out what do women think about porn.

Below are excerpts from the comments section of just one of our posts on porn; the majority of which are aimed at examining men and porn. In response to the post Why Men Watch Porn, here is what a few women think about porn:

  • "Porn makes me feel like I dont look good enough for him and that I dont please him so he has to go to that. I dont like it.. I seriously work my butt off to stay in shape and being in the mood for him even when I am tired."
  • "It makes me feel horrible and I am a woman with a strong sex drive and I do many things that give him pleasure that many women wouldn't do. I feel as though I can't trust him although he says that he has never cheated on me."
  • "I just discovered he's lied to me our entire relationship that he looks at porn . . . he refuses to stop, he wants it to be just his thing, and also allow our sex life as a couple to dissolve. Will some one make sense of this for me. If Im bending over backwards for more involvement with him, and he denies me of it and is continuing to be selfish and satisfy him self and only use me when he cant be alone to use porn, why should i stay?"
  • "By its very nature porn is exploitive. I was told by my husband that if I had done to him the things he has done to me and our marriage with porn our marriage would be over. Its the he can, but I can't thing."

What are you noticing about how these women feel about porn?

  • "Last night while using his phone to look something up I found that he's been visiting several sites. It really hurt me that he shut me out of his fantasy. Especially since I ask him often about his wildest desires. I take pride in being a great girlfriend/wife. I'll pretty well do anything he asks. Hell I've lost 40 lbs in 2 months and started being more seductive. Why couldn't he just be honest with me? Why hide it? Why lie about it?"
  • "My boyfriend . . . still refuses to stop buying it even though he clearly knows how much it upsets me. It is, for me anyway, a situation of being with a man who shows little to no respect for women, not even the one he claims to love and I believe it is the same for many others who have that problem with their partners."
  • "Men looking at pornography in secrecy is disrespectful to their partner. . . I feel betrayed, because all my efforts to achieve something significant for our life is not reciprocated. I feel alone in my relationship."
  • "My boyfriend looks at porn every night when he's at work. I'm trying to get use to the fact that he watches it but I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough, I'm not sexy enough, my breast aren't big enough."
  • "I have not mentioned that I know he still abuses porn. I don't know what to do. I love my husband so much but I really can't deal with the reallity that I am not enough. That he doesn't love me enough to stop. I'm hurt, I'm pissed and I'm confused."
  • "I was soo hurt that I want to walk away. I told him how i felt and he accused me of being insecure and ignorant. He don't see what he is doing as hurtful. I don't know what to do because i feel that I am not what he truly wants."

See any themes here? So how do women feel about porn? These women feel it's selfish and dishonest; porn makes them feel not good enough, not important enough; they betrayed, hurt, angry.

Read the first 2 posts in this series and you'll know this isn't what all women think about porn. But these comments by far represent how the majority of women I work with and hear from think and feel about porn.

Read more comments about porn from women here: Why Men Watch Porn, What Average Guy Porn Addictions Look Like, A Guy Confesses He's Addicted to Pornography

What do you think about porn? Please leave a thought below.

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Tags: Porn Addiction