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What Do Women Think About Porn?

  
  
  
  

What Do Women Think About PornPart 3 of 3 on Porn for Women

What do women think about porn? What's your guess? Before you read any further, what do you think women think about porn?

In the last 2 posts we've answered the questions: Do Women Like Porn and Do Women Watch Porn? Now let's hear from some real women and find out what do women think about porn.

Below are excerpts from the comments section of just one of our posts on porn; the majority of which are aimed at examining men and porn. In response to the post Why Men Watch Porn, here is what a few women think about porn:

  • "Porn makes me feel like I dont look good enough for him and that I dont please him so he has to go to that. I dont like it.. I seriously work my butt off to stay in shape and being in the mood for him even when I am tired."
  • "It makes me feel horrible and I am a woman with a strong sex drive and I do many things that give him pleasure that many women wouldn't do. I feel as though I can't trust him although he says that he has never cheated on me."
  • "I just discovered he's lied to me our entire relationship that he looks at porn . . . he refuses to stop, he wants it to be just his thing, and also allow our sex life as a couple to dissolve. Will some one make sense of this for me. If Im bending over backwards for more involvement with him, and he denies me of it and is continuing to be selfish and satisfy him self and only use me when he cant be alone to use porn, why should i stay?"
  • "By its very nature porn is exploitive. I was told by my husband that if I had done to him the things he has done to me and our marriage with porn our marriage would be over. Its the he can, but I can't thing."

What are you noticing about how these women feel about porn?

  • "Last night while using his phone to look something up I found that he's been visiting several sites. It really hurt me that he shut me out of his fantasy. Especially since I ask him often about his wildest desires. I take pride in being a great girlfriend/wife. I'll pretty well do anything he asks. Hell I've lost 40 lbs in 2 months and started being more seductive. Why couldn't he just be honest with me? Why hide it? Why lie about it?"
  • "My boyfriend . . . still refuses to stop buying it even though he clearly knows how much it upsets me. It is, for me anyway, a situation of being with a man who shows little to no respect for women, not even the one he claims to love and I believe it is the same for many others who have that problem with their partners."
  • "Men looking at pornography in secrecy is disrespectful to their partner. . . I feel betrayed, because all my efforts to achieve something significant for our life is not reciprocated. I feel alone in my relationship."
  • "My boyfriend looks at porn every night when he's at work. I'm trying to get use to the fact that he watches it but I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough, I'm not sexy enough, my breast aren't big enough."
  • "I have not mentioned that I know he still abuses porn. I don't know what to do. I love my husband so much but I really can't deal with the reallity that I am not enough. That he doesn't love me enough to stop. I'm hurt, I'm pissed and I'm confused."
  • "I was soo hurt that I want to walk away. I told him how i felt and he accused me of being insecure and ignorant. He don't see what he is doing as hurtful. I don't know what to do because i feel that I am not what he truly wants."

See any themes here? So how do women feel about porn? These women feel it's selfish and dishonest; porn makes them feel not good enough, not important enough; they betrayed, hurt, angry.

Read the first 2 posts in this series and you'll know this isn't what all women think about porn. But these comments by far represent how the majority of women I work with and hear from think and feel about porn.

Read more comments about porn from women here: Why Men Watch Porn, What Average Guy Porn Addictions Look Like, A Guy Confesses He's Addicted to Pornography

What do you think about porn? Please leave a thought below.

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Comments

Using the pen name Martha Emms, I have a fictional memoir that will be coming out soon about Nicky's (main character), husbands escalating addiction to porn and it's affect on their marriage. I believe even though it is written from the wife's point of view, it will be enlightening and bring about much conversation from both sexes.
Posted @ Thursday, August 02, 2012 1:48 AM by Barbranne Herrera
Well, I just want to talk about this topic because I'm going through the same thing, my husband-to-be likes watching porn too much, what makes me feel so sad and stupid at times is that he thinks I won't find out but I know he visits porn websites everytime I'm out of the bedroom, yes, we have a TV in the bedroom so he gets an easy access to porn. I used to think it was OK but no, it's not OK, I don't feel attractive, I feel that I'm not good enough or I can't keep him satisfied and that makes me feel so angry and disgusted.
Posted @ Thursday, January 10, 2013 8:32 PM by Silvya Rodriguez
One thing that I notice over and over again as I read through various blog responses here and elsewhere is the nature of secrecy and deceit around porn. It seems that porn users are afraid to own their actions. They lie to their partners and by doing so, set up a false reality. The "relationship" that is occurring with their partner is bogus, and my experience of this is that as I continued to trust my husband, which is normal in marriage I continued to break down emotionally. The degree to which I continued to trust him was the degree to which I was breaking down. He knew the truth. I did not consciously know the truth, but the truth was revealing itself through my responses to what was occurring. The more I listened to my responses, the more I was able to finally discover what was really going on in my marriage. Unfortunately, my husband preferred his porn to a relationship with me, and that was the end of our marriage. I wasn't interested in an open marriage. It seems that many people are in "open" marriages that include other people. I just wasn't...I couldn't incorporate my husband's porn queens into my reality....We did not share the same values. 
Posted @ Monday, February 04, 2013 4:18 PM by Kat
Women know instinctively that porn is dangerous to life energy. The part of me that is threatened by porn is the part of me that knows that it limits sexual expression. Men think they're getting "variety", but in my opinion, they are actually narrowing themselves, and ultimately annihilating their own partner from their "harem"...The end result is a total loss for everyone. Everyone loses when a man can no longer cherish the woman he committed his life to and see her as the exquisite beauty that she is....Everyone loses, but mostly the porn user, because the woman can get out of this intact. I know, because I have. Men say that women are limited in their sexual expression because they won't view porn, but women know that it is quite the opposite. Most women are not willing to narrow their sexual expression to the visual sense alone. Most women are multi-sensual and experience sexuality multi-sensually and emotionally. The cannot narrow themselves to the 2D version of sex that porn offers. It's too limiting. It's not a woman's problem that she doesn't like porn. It is threatening to the life force when men can no longer have physical relations with flesh and blood women. It is a "death" of sorts, and women KNOW this. As women are dealing with pornified men, it's becoming evident that there are very few men anymore who can match a woman in her sexuality. Men do run to porn, because they are afraid. It's ironic that they annihilate so much in themselves and others in their effort to stay safe.
Posted @ Monday, February 04, 2013 4:30 PM by Kat
I agree that men run to this to get a quick release and have the experience of being with any woman they like. It's degrading and hurtful to women alike. I am an attractive twenty something woman that only retired her Hooters Girl profession two years ago to have a husband addicted to porn. He knows I know About it and we have had discussion after discussion about it. The thing is... I know he will never give it up. No matter what I do or what I say or don't say, the fact he has access to different women always ready to get fucked is too tempting. We have two small children together and I just hope our boys don't grow up to be like him.
Posted @ Friday, March 15, 2013 8:33 PM by Christa
I wrote a book, PORTRAIT OF OUR MARRIAGE Memoirs of Love, Family, the Internet, and Obsession, is not a fairy tale romance but an intense psychological romance that takes you behind closed doors into the private and forbidden world of a couple dealing with porn addiction. It is one woman's experience as over the years of their marriage, her husbands casual interest in porn becomes an obsession. 
This story will touch your heart and shock you. It is the journey of a marriage in the techno age. The struggle of their love versus addiction and how the choices they made ultimately changes and destroys parts of who each of them were.
Posted @ Friday, March 15, 2013 9:29 PM by Martha Emms
Every now and then when my husband and I are getting intimate he'll ask if I want to watch porn so I<\b> can get in the mood...I'll agree so he doesn't think I'm insecure, but once it starts it's like I start to compare myself and then it turns me off and makes me feel ugly..I've talked to him about how it bothers me and he'll say he's going to stop but then I find out that he's still looking at it and just keeping it a secret..I've learned to not care so much but it's still really hard.
Posted @ Wednesday, April 17, 2013 1:30 PM by Brianna
Many women are turned off to porn and turned off to porn using men. I feel sorry for the women married to a man that they are turned off to. 
 
That is a reality, but then it's interesting that women feel that somehow they have to change this. Many women feel pressured to change how they feel about porn and they try, doing damage to their own values. Women know what turns them on; they just need to have the courage to stand in that and not settle for less. No matter what I do, I can't be turned on by porn, and I'm not attracted to a porn using man right now anyway, so, I find myself alone. Now, this might change but so far, it hasn't so, I don't find myself attracted to very many men. 
 
I wonder if men know how much of a turn off porn is to a lot of women...how turned off women are to men who love porn.
Posted @ Monday, May 06, 2013 4:19 PM by Kat
I need to talk to someone about my boyfriend watching porn, we have talked about it, he knows how much it hurts me and what I have been though he tells me all the time he will stop but doesn't, I looked in the history and always porn, now that he knows I know we're yo look he now delets the porn, I need to know what to do about this, I love him but I can't do this anymore. Please help me. Thanks
Posted @ Sunday, June 09, 2013 11:34 AM by Dawn
Why do so many men not care and love their partners? So much so that they are willing to lie for for but not have integrity and respect for their own partners? what in the world is wrong with men?
Posted @ Saturday, October 19, 2013 12:58 PM by Me
I decide to break up with my gf after a relationship of 18 months because she caught me watching porn in the next room while she was napping. 
 
She is a bit conservative and over-reactive but I understand her point of view. 
 
I agree online porn is too insidious and intense like pot is now. I realize I will have to seriously lower my dosage of that toxic brain poison. Maybe to o times a month. Somebody else could achieve balance with 5 minutes a month. 
 
It s very dangerous. On many levels.
Posted @ Tuesday, October 29, 2013 9:17 PM by Michael
Me and my girlfriend almost broke up last week because of porn. The thing is we can only have sex 2 weeks per month (1 week of fertility and you know the other) 
So we made a deal even if it was hard for her but she's okay with it. 
When we have sex I film stuff with my phone for later use. It's men nature to masturbate, it's like an itch and when you're done you're liberated. You can't stop masturbating, your body rejects it and you don't feel well. So now I have my own porn material from my girlfriend and she feels sexier :)
Posted @ Saturday, November 02, 2013 12:32 PM by Gabriel
I think when it comes to porn it can be come a problem in a relationship if a guy spends more time watching than actually spending real quality time with his wife of girlfriend but if a guy watches it once in a while that's ok but women have to understand watching porn has nothing to do with them not being attractive enough it's all fantasy
Posted @ Tuesday, November 05, 2013 8:08 AM by Paul maxwell
Paul, considering how objectifying and degrading most porn is toward women today, I'm don't even understand why a good man would say that looking at porn once in a while is okay. 
 
Also, your statement that a man's porn use has nothing to do with his partner is documentedly false. It's been documented actually that directly after viewing porn, a man has more judgemental and critical things to say of his own partner's body and sexual physical ability then the men who didn't watch porn.  
 
I think what you and other men need to understand that the fact that something is "fantasy" doesn't negate the very real feelings and emotions a woman experiences upon seeing her male partner, the person who is suppose to be most loyal to her, devide his sexual energy among her and other visual images of women so that he can be more sexually satisfied for that brief temporary time until he feels the need to do it again. 
 
Sexual fantasy does not negate wanting something. Infact, sexual fantasy is all about wanting something. And considering the amount of men that try to encourage their female partner to watch porn with them, particpate in sexual acts found in porn, or to dress up and look more like the women in porn, I think it's really crappy for you to actually say that men's porn use has nothing to do with the partner he is in a committed relationship with. It also shows how much you don't even know your own psychology.
Posted @ Monday, December 02, 2013 8:16 PM by Me
I think it's very hard for a lot of men to be bombarded with sexual images all day. Those images are used because they evoke a strong desire in men that can feel insurmountable-even maddening. I'm not trying to make excuses or downplay what women have said on this forum, because men feel the same way. We want to be in love and be better versions of ourselves. I just always have to reiterate how STRONGLY images of women affect us as men. And it's a constant barrage of imagery-the test is relentless and never-ending.
Posted @ Thursday, January 16, 2014 12:45 AM by Thomas
Hi Thomas, I agree that it's hard for men with so much sexual imagery. But, alot of men also seek out the sexual imagery of their own free will. And just as men are constantly bombared with images that show these sexy and fantasy-like images of women, women in turn have to also deal with these images and on top of that, have to deal with the fact that the men they love are looking at these images. Yes, images of women affect men. But images of women affect women too. And they affect us in two ways. They affect us because we know we don't look like those girls and they affect us because we know that our male partners love looking at those girls. And most men.
Posted @ Sunday, January 19, 2014 7:54 PM by Me
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