3 Min Read Contents Emotions are tricky things. They can flare up in an instant or slowly build over time, reshaping how we perceive ourselves and the people closest to us. Among the most misunderstood emotions are anger and resentment.
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Contents
We’ve all experienced anger. Whether it’s triggered by another person, situation, or the various injustices in the world, anger is a common human feeling and response. But does feeling angry mean you have anger issues?
No.
There’s a difference between occasionally getting angry and having anger issues.
However, knowing whether your anger is in the normal range or a whether you’re one of the many people who have issues with anger can be tricky.
The good news for those whose anger goes beyond the occasional is that there are some very clear signs of anger issues that can help you understand the difference.
The best place to look for signs that you’ve got issues with anger is with the people closest to you.
Most people can do a pretty good job hiding anger from friends and coworkers, but it's our loved ones who see us when we're the most real.
They’re the ones we feel most relaxed and safest with, so, unfortunately, they’re the ones we’re also most likely take our anger out on. And for some of us it happens so often that it becomes a problem.,
Regular anger can cause difficulties with relationships, families, and jobs.
So, what are the signs that you have anger issues and what can you do about it?
Is it possible that because of your anger you could look like this shark to your wife, partner, or kids?
Those of us with anger issues never want to think so, but sadly, sometimes those around us see -- and fear -- us just like we all do a Great White Shark.
It's easy to assume that it's just men who have anger management problems. While it’s true that men’s anger issues can be more obvious, women are just as prone to having problems with anger as men.
Struggling with anger has less to do with gender and more to do with the psychological issues and life experiences that have shaped us.
Often there can be unresolved problems from the past, that have created an emotional struggle within a person. When left unaddressed these feelings eventually impact our ability to control our anger and respond appropriately to situations or other people.
Present day external stresses can play a large role as well.
How we think about and process events is another contributing factor.
People who are already vulnerable to getting angry can find it difficult to let go of anger or control their anger response when faced with even mild stress. This can happen equally to both men and women.
If a person is struggling with anger issues there will be signs.
Below are some real-life examples from people who have a loved one or close friend who is struggling with anger. You'll see that these struggles can be found in men and women alike.
Men
Women
Do you recognize yourself (or someone else) in the quotes above?
If you do, it’s likely that anger has become an issue.
There are a variety of behaviors that can indicate an anger management problem – you just have to know what to look for.
So, just what are some signs that you could have anger issues?
Let’s consider the patterns illustrated in the quotes above. Here are 10 that I identified:
This isn't a complete list of signs that you have anger problems, but it's a pretty good start.
If you recognize yourself, or someone you know, in these quotes or this list of anger symptoms, don't feel too bad.
Struggles with anger are common. The first step towards change is awareness and acceptance of the problem.
I used to see myself within this list too, but I’ve learned how to manage my anger and you can as well.
The biggest obstacle for those of us with anger issues is denying that it's true.
There’s no way to change if you can’t admit to yourself that change is needed.
It will be difficult, but also empowering, for you to be open with those you love about your desire to change. A support system can encourage and help hold you accountable with following through too.
You should know that learning to control your anger it isn't as easy as people would like to think.
However, learning the 3-fold approach we use to effectively treat anger management problems will help immensely.
If you feel anger has gotten difficult to control and you’re seeing signs of anger issues, don’t wait any longer to act.
Anger issues will lead to many serious problems. These can be prevented though if action is taken to change.
Was this article helpful in learning the signs that you (or someone you love) has anger issues? If so, sign-up at the bottom of this page to receive notice of future posts or follow me on Facebook or Twitter where I share other helpful relationship and self-improvement advice like this several times a week.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published August 27, 2015, updated on November 13, 2018 and again for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
3 Min Read Contents Emotions are tricky things. They can flare up in an instant or slowly build over time, reshaping how we perceive ourselves and the people closest to us. Among the most misunderstood emotions are anger and resentment.
Are you Married To An Angry Man? Find out from one wife’s real-life experience what it's like being Married To An Angry Man. See if Angry Men can change.
Got a stubborn husband?I know what that’s like. I work with them every day (I used to be one).
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Hi,my dad's been getting very angry for little things lately. He's been a hot headed person for as long as I can remember but he's been getting more angry lately.everyday when he comes back from work there's always something that makes him explode like if my brother runs around the house,I leave my empty cup on the table or my brother's toys laying around the floor. My mom's also is really tired of him being like this as they argue about little things too. I tend to always talk back and that makes him more angry tho my points are valid. As long as he doesn't agree with your thinking he jus gets really annoyed I guess. I've told him, repeatedly, that he has to calm down but that makes him more angry. He doesn't do this with other people tho, only his close family memebers. He gets really angry on the road too. Annoying drivers, traffic lights that take too long and jams.I don't know but I've read a bunch of stuff about how to know if someone has angry issues and I think he keeps all the anger inside him from other people, work and all and when he comes home he explodes with us. Jus my assumption tho. I jus want a better point so he'll realise that his angry annoys the people around him. Thx
I don't even know where to start, I don't want to unleash all my problems but I read your list of 10 things that identified my Anger and I was all of them, sometimes I am so nice to my boyfriend and I love him to death but sometimes I also unleash everything on him and all he does is try to help but I keep getting Angrier and I can't calm down, it's so heartbreaking because I hurt him and I never meant to and all he wants is for me to be okay it's so sad, I wish I could stop but I'm not sure how
Kayla, Recognizing you have an anger issue is a great first step! Seek out a local counselor who specializes in Anger Management. That will give you the tools you need to deal with your anger and keep it from doing more harm. In the meantime, read the other articles in the Anger Management section for more ideas and information. - Dr. Kurt
I don't know where to start! My Husband has definality anger problems. His childhood wasn't the best, he grew up with fear and a lot more apparently. I know its hs fault but sometimes I don't know how to deal with his anger, yelling at me, screaming, caling me names. Its not everyday thing thank god, but when he starts it makes me physically and mentally miserable. I don't know what to do anymore, he never put hands on me or anything which is a good thing or would've left him by now, but still... what should I do to handle all this? I don't want to leave him for this either, like I said its just a once a month thing. It was even worse when we got married and moved in together, I know for a fact it got a lot better..
Betsy, Your husband needs to acknowledge his behavior and that he needs help. He will have to be the one to seek it out for himself. In the meantime, consider seeking out counseling for yourself if you need support, and read the other articles in the Anger Management Section as well as the Abusive Relationships section as there may be some information there you find helpful as well. - Dr. Kurt
Hello,
my ex girlfriend and I are still living together until I get everything sorted to move out, but ever since we broke up she has been ruthless. I don't want to call it bi-polar because I have no idea but she goes off the handle when I ask simple requests and blames me for her anger saying I drive her crazy. I don't ask for much nor am I rude. For example I will ask hey can you take care of the laundry or something to that effect, and the response is something like why don't you just shut up and leave me alone your annoying etc etc. I am not sure how else to help her as I do care a lot and it is effecting our relationship in more ways than 1 and I fear that she will always use me as the reason for her anger which I don't understand why. When I try to talk to her about it she just shuts down, gets belligerent and very flustered and starts yelling. My son is only 1 years old and I don't want him around this kind of environment.
Thanks
Andrew, If you are broken up, then she is now a roommate, and asking her things she used to do for you isn't appropriate and she may not know how to express that. You're right that your son shouldn't be around so much anger if she's acting out in front of him. - Dr. Kurt
Hello,
I live with my parents and my dad has anger issues. He is incredibly impatient, violent etc but that isn't why I want to comment here.
I want to discuss myself and how I feel I'm being affected by my surroundings. Lack of patience
Irritability and short temper
Blaming everyone and everything else
When you get angry you shut down or withdraw. These four things I find have increasingly appeared in my day to day life. Is there anyway I can get around these issues?
Adam, Your situation demonstrates the power our environments and what we expose ourselves to can have on us. You can probably minimize the affect, but not eliminate it until you change where you live. Also, because it's your father you've probably inherited some of the same tendencies, so getting some professional counseling to learn tools you can use to reverse this behavior in yourself would be wise. Take it from someone who had the same kind of father. -Dr. Kurt