Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
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Contents
Part 2 of 3 on Porn for Women
Okay, all the men are dying to know - do women watch porn?
For many men there’s something very appealing about the idea of a woman watching porn – especially if they can do it together.
Well guys, yes, some women do watch porn.
However, in my counseling experience the majority of women do not and have no interest in doing so. And the ones that do are usually interested in porn that’s very different from what most men have in mind.
Sorry guys.
But that doesn’t mean that porn isn’t a factor in many women’s lives and relationships. In fact, you might be surprised at the role that porn can play in a woman’s life and the reasons some women watch porn.
Watching porn is typically seen as a man’s habit, not a woman’s. We don’t usually think of women watching porn or developing a porn addiction and this is for good reason – most women don’t.
But that’s not to say that women don’t watch. They just typically watch for different reasons than men.
Some of the most common reasons a woman would choose to watch porn are to:
Many women mistakenly put their own feelings and desires aside and accept watching porn to try to make their man happy.
They view it as something they need to do in order to satisfy him and prevent what they fear will happen next – him cheating .
So, despite feeling what many women describe as repulsion, they watch porn with their partner out of a sense of necessity.
Men as a whole have a strong attraction to and easy acceptance of porn. And a lot of women really want to understand more about why.
So, they’ll watch porn to try to find out.
Our culture has made watching porn normal and has removed nearly all of the negative views that once surrounded it. Current movies, music, and advertising have all incorporated pornographic images and references as a result.
So now finding it distasteful and expressing a problem with porn can feel like you’re going against the grain and will be judged as a prude, unimaginative, or uncomfortable with sexuality. For this reason, some women watch and accept porn because they feel like they have to in order to be “normal.”
There are women who watch porn for the same reasons men do - visual stimulation, sexual arousal, and release.
Both men and women respond to visual stimulation, but what they want to see and the reasons they want to see it can be quite different. While men typically want to see graphic sexual images, women tend to prefer more suggestive and sensual imagery.
That being said, women who openly enjoy porn are still a minority, albeit a growing minority. In fact, porn addiction in women is becoming a bigger problem with each passing year.
Porn can negatively affect both men and women. It’s not the harmless pastime that many men claim.
Porn distorts our thinking about sex, leading to unrealistic expectations, dissatisfaction in healthy sexual relationships, feelings of inadequacy, and, in some cases, sexual abuse.
However, most people don't know any of this, nor do they realize how damaging porn is to them.
A number of women have had negative sexual experiences that have altered their view of sex. Some of them are aware of this, but many are not.
An unhealthy view and understanding of sex can contribute to a desire to watch porn for both women and men, and make true intimacy with a real partner nearly impossible.
To better understand women and porn, be sure to read the last article, Do Women Like Porn?
Let’s be clear – porn isn’t a healthy habit for men or women. Yet because it’s so readily accessible and seemingly harmless, many people figure, why not watch?
One of the problems is that the effects of porn on the brain are similar to that of many narcotics. By igniting the pleasure centers in the brain, porn can cause the same euphoric response and lead to the same kind of addiction as drugs.
And just like a drug, you’ll need more and more porn to become aroused, more explicit content, and eventually you’ll find you’re unable to perform sexually without it.
Although you can’t overdose on porn the same way you can on something like Heroin, you can cause long-lasting psychological damage that can make normal, healthy sexual relationships very difficult.
So, should women watch porn?
No. And while we’re discussing it, neither should men.
Watching porn is portrayed as a no-big-deal, everyone-does-it activity. And truthfully, many people do watch porn, including women.
But male or female, watching porn causes problems.
Remember,
So back to the question, “Do women watch porn?”
Yes, some do, but the reasons they do are varied. And just because a woman chooses to watch porn doesn’t make watching porn right or good for them. Remember, a lot of people unknowingly do stupid things that aren't good for them.
In the next and last post on the topic of women and porn we’ll hear what women think about porn in their own words.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published July 14, 2012, updated on December 22, 2020, and has been updated again with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Wondering if Porn Is Cheating? Find out what psychology experts say about whether Porn Is Cheating.
Breaking a porn addiction isn’t easy. Learn how to handle relapses here.
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the reasons that women watch porn, that were listed above are not always exactly true. what if their sex life is " too routine ? " what if they cannot orgasm with a man, and need a toy, and their man doesn't take enough time to do foreplay, be more passionate, romantic, dance with them, massages, etc.? or to learn the proper ways in which to do the foreplay to pleasure her the way she needs? even after she suggests it and tries showing him and he still forgets or puts it off and just goes right into the main event.or only tries being romantic once then falls back into his same old routine again? the female will not want to remind, coax nag him to do / say nice, sexy, romantic things to get her in the mood. she feels let down her needs unmet, tired of asking for what she wants not getting it, hearing excuses i'm too tired, or i'm no romeo ! so instead she turns to porn. it happens.
Tammy, Thanks for sharing another reason. The description you give may be reasons for women to turn to porn, but it doesn't make it the right thing to do. What you're describing is a relationship without mutual love and respect. That should and can change, but it doesn't have to if you use porn to deal with the problem. -Kurt
I have gone to porn for some of the reason posted. To explore fantasies with my partner. To try and get him to open up more sexually.
Also for when I am in the mood and my partner isn't home to help me out it's nice to have a visual. I can fantasize about my partner very well but he isn't very open with me sexually. He wants to be but he isn't so, I like watching lesbian porn. I like to imagine I am with another women who can be more intimate and understanding and cater to my needs as well as I to hers. Sometimes. I very rarely do this and I honestly feel it's a stab in the back to him but I do tell him when I do it. I've only done this a few times I'd say 5 times within the almost 7 years we have been together. He says he doesn't mind it doesn't excite him or anger him.
Alejandra, Thanks for sharing your experience. Being honest with each other about what we're doing and why is the most important thing. One of the most destructive aspects of porn is that it's most often done secretly, which is very destructive. -Kurt
I think, actually I'm sure, that porn doesn't give a distorted view of sex in all cases.
In my case - I'm a man - I saw and learnt, by being shown it thru pics, videos and more, what women are truly like, how are they doing what they do (yes, in many cases it's fake, but in many others, it's not) and what do they like. It really opened a new vista for me on those subjects, and it's not like I didn't know women before, it's just that I was exposed to a wide variety of things which I wasn't aware of, physical and mental. For this, I'm grateful to the porn industry. That said, I deplore the sex slavery and the use of the woman as a sex object, I truly do, but on the other hand, I admit I enjoy it.
And what's more imortant even, is that I understood, and now I'm aware that women can be beautiful and sexy and appealing at all ages and sizes and looks, something not all men accept or understand. This is a very great boon for women regarding the men's attitude toewards them.
I also understood that most all women at all ages want and do sex.
Now, all this that I learnt and understood are not little things, and they give me a better and more understanding perspective towards women. I'm thankful for that.