Are you Married To An Angry Man? Find out from one wife’s real-life experience what it's like being Married To An Angry Man. See if Angry Men can change.
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Contents
We’ve all experienced anger. Whether it’s triggered by another person, situation, or the various injustices in the world, anger is a common human feeling and response. But does feeling angry mean you have anger issues?
No.
There’s a difference between occasionally getting angry and having anger issues.
However, knowing whether your anger is in the normal range or a whether you’re one of the many people who have issues with anger can be tricky.
The good news for those whose anger goes beyond the occasional is that there are some very clear signs of anger issues that can help you understand the difference.
The best place to look for signs that you’ve got issues with anger is with the people closest to you.
Most people can do a pretty good job hiding anger from friends and coworkers, but it's our loved ones who see us when we're the most real.
They’re the ones we feel most relaxed and safest with, so, unfortunately, they’re the ones we’re also most likely take our anger out on. And for some of us it happens so often that it becomes a problem.,
Regular anger can cause difficulties with relationships, families, and jobs.
So, what are the signs that you have anger issues and what can you do about it?
Is it possible that because of your anger you could look like this shark to your wife, partner, or kids?
Those of us with anger issues never want to think so, but sadly, sometimes those around us see -- and fear -- us just like we all do a Great White Shark.
It's easy to assume that it's just men who have anger management problems. While it’s true that men’s anger issues can be more obvious, women are just as prone to having problems with anger as men.
Struggling with anger has less to do with gender and more to do with the psychological issues and life experiences that have shaped us.
Often there can be unresolved problems from the past, that have created an emotional struggle within a person. When left unaddressed these feelings eventually impact our ability to control our anger and respond appropriately to situations or other people.
Present day external stresses can play a large role as well.
How we think about and process events is another contributing factor.
People who are already vulnerable to getting angry can find it difficult to let go of anger or control their anger response when faced with even mild stress. This can happen equally to both men and women.
If a person is struggling with anger issues there will be signs.
Below are some real-life examples from people who have a loved one or close friend who is struggling with anger. You'll see that these struggles can be found in men and women alike.
Men
Women
Do you recognize yourself (or someone else) in the quotes above?
If you do, it’s likely that anger has become an issue.
There are a variety of behaviors that can indicate an anger management problem – you just have to know what to look for.
So, just what are some signs that you could have anger issues?
Let’s consider the patterns illustrated in the quotes above. Here are 10 that I identified:
This isn't a complete list of signs that you have anger problems, but it's a pretty good start.
If you recognize yourself, or someone you know, in these quotes or this list of anger symptoms, don't feel too bad.
Struggles with anger are common. The first step towards change is awareness and acceptance of the problem.
I used to see myself within this list too, but I’ve learned how to manage my anger and you can as well.
The biggest obstacle for those of us with anger issues is denying that it's true.
There’s no way to change if you can’t admit to yourself that change is needed.
It will be difficult, but also empowering, for you to be open with those you love about your desire to change. A support system can encourage and help hold you accountable with following through too.
You should know that learning to control your anger it isn't as easy as people would like to think.
However, learning the 3-fold approach we use to effectively treat anger management problems will help immensely.
If you feel anger has gotten difficult to control and you’re seeing signs of anger issues, don’t wait any longer to act.
Anger issues will lead to many serious problems. These can be prevented though if action is taken to change.
Was this article helpful in learning the signs that you (or someone you love) has anger issues? If so, sign-up at the bottom of this page to receive notice of future posts or follow me on Facebook or Twitter where I share other helpful relationship and self-improvement advice like this several times a week.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published August 27, 2015, updated on November 13, 2018 and again for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Are you Married To An Angry Man? Find out from one wife’s real-life experience what it's like being Married To An Angry Man. See if Angry Men can change.
Got a stubborn husband?I know what that’s like. I work with them every day (I used to be one).
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Sometimes I get so angry at the littlest things, like if someone were to bump into to me and they say sorry or not i would brush the part where they bumped into me and say, "You F***king idiot,do not touch me you filthy pig!" Then my day would be ruined, and sometimes I would be happy and the extremely angry and annoyed for no reason, and sometimes when I yell and hit my loved ones I later realized what I did and think that I'm worthless and terrible and that I should die or I should have been aborted and some things I would scratch my face so hard or bite my arm so hard they would bleed and then I would be fine. I also think about terrible things to do to the people I hate, what's wrong with me and should I get help. By the way I'm 13.
Beth, Why you do this is complicated, but it isn't that uncommon and it can be fixed. Yes, you need to get help from a professional counselor. Tell an adult you trust, a parent, other family member, teacher, etc., about this and ask them to help you find someone who can help. -Dr. Kurt
Hello, I'm 17 and I'm here to see if I need help with my anger. I normally get angry at really little things like standing in a long queue and if a trains later or anything stupid like that.. I have also been in a lot of trouble in the past in school and been punching walls and lockers I have also gotten in a fight, but I think it has gotten worse because I start arguments with my boyfriend over little things, I'd even hit him because of something stupid like eating and I don't realise what has happened whilst being angry and that I'm doing wrong after a good 10 minutes but after that the damage is done and I feel like I'm gonna loose him because of my behaviour and I don't know what to do because I hate the thought of counselling or anything like this I hate to talk to people about my problems apart from my boyfriend because he sees the way I am and how I act and I don't want to hurt him or argue with him over things that really shouldn't be argued about. What should I do?
Ronnie, If you want this to stop and more likely not get worse, then you need to do what you don't want to do and get some professional counseling help so you can learn how to manage it. Read through the articles on this site under the topic Anger Management. -Dr. Kurt
My husband of 18 years was such a kind and patient man when I met him. We have two teenagers and over the last several years it seems his patience is extremely short. If I question anything he says, he rolls his eyes and acts like I'm being ridiculous. I'm often afraid to bring things up because he just doesn't see it and basically acts like I'm exaggerating. He has a quiet anger, he usually will slam things or doors or curse (not AT someone in particular). He's also very smart, kind of a know it all for real. It's irritating that he often corrects me (and everyone else) on matters or he knows more details on a subject. It's exhausting. He normally thinks things out rather than yell but it's like walking on eggshells and I think he needs to go to some form of counseling, be it for anger or?
I've been in relationship for almost 2 years. My boyfriend was usually very emotional and sentimental person while I was very calm and was hard to get angry. I easily let go of the negative emotions almost like some kind of a sage. But as I had many fights with him and saw him getting angry like an erupting volcano, I gradually changed to this person who's ready to get angry. I get agitated so easily. I get nervous and frustrated with the things that I wouldn't even care in the past. I cannot hold my anger as long as I used to before. I have more arguments with my parents. In any moment I'm ready to get angry and scream. I don't hit anyone but sometimes I hit my pillows or hurt myself to let it out without making noise. I used to support my boyfriend by being patient and not getting angry when he goes crazy and now I'm the one who needs that support. What should I do? I hate getting angry so much. Because of this, I lose respect for myself as well.
Hi Fox, Anger issues are tough. The first step is to understand where your anger is coming from and why it is so easily triggered. This often requires the assistance of a trained professional. If you would like to reach out, I do counseling and coaching by phone, Skype, FaceTime, and
Google Hangouts. You can learn more by clicking the Services link at the top of the page. - Dr. Kurt
Hi my name is Lakshmi, and my grandma says I have anger issues, I
don't know if she really means it or not. My mom has epilepsy and she has anger issues due to her medications and my grandma tells me I have more anger than her but I don't use any bad word or any violence or anything but I do cry or go to my room and think who's fault it really is, when it's my fault I accept but when it is their fault I usually have my anger for 10 min but no longer and also in my school evryone likes me because I always smile and I dont even remember getting angry at least once while i am in the school, but i am more likely get angry around my family and I also feel like I am getting angry more often than last year.S is it healthy or is it sometimes I should take care of ? oh and my age is 16 .