You have this nagging feeling that your husband is no longer in love with you. Learn what to do next
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Contents
In the beginning we love almost everything about our partner. Over time, however, that changes as we start to see the flaws too. But in some relationships it goes much deeper. When you start asking, as many do, “What are the signs he doesn’t love me anymore?” there’s clearly something bigger going on.
All relationships go through natural ups and downs.
Often these fluctuations resolve themselves with time. Sometimes, however, these changes can become permanent and cause for concern.
If you're one of the many women who want to know if there are signs he doesn't love you anymore, you’re not alone.
So, how do you know if the changes in the love you're experiencing are normal or a problem?
It can be tricky, but there are signsthat will tell you if he doesn’t love you anymore. Recognizing them, however, requires us to first look at how someone loves us in the beginning.
Take a look at this post from my social media page about how to know if someone loves you.
Think back to the beginning of your relationship and see if any of the following sounds familiar.
At the beginning we,
It's natural for the way we love our partner to change over time.
We may not feel the same way later in the relationship as we did in the beginning. We may not be as forgiving or understanding either.
And, arguably, in the beginning nearly all of us were a little too carefree in how easily we blindly loved, because early love can make us act more than a bit naïve and foolish.
As time goes on that naïve phase fades and we see our partner more clearly. This is a good thing.
Loving someone with blinders on means building your relationship on a house of cards – eventually it will collapse.
But if most or all of the signs of love and appreciation disappear, that's one of the warning signs he may not love you anymore (here are more signs your husband doesn't love you).
So, before you start looking for signs that he doesn’t love you anymore, think about what it was like when you felt certain of his love.
Are those things all gone?
If you think those loving things are gone, or if you’re feeling uncertain, it’s time to look a little closer and see if there are other signs he may have fallen out of love with you.
Women are often much more in-tune with changes in feelings within a relationship than are men.
Because the changes can be subtle, they can be excused away easily. This can make it hard for anyone to spot, let alone accept, the signs he doesn't love you anymore.
Before we look at some specific signs, however, it’s important to recognize that just as relationships change over time, expressions of love do too.
As easy as it is to explain away the lack of loving gestures, it can be just as easy to read too much into the lack of them as well.
Sometimes it's just the normal ups and downs of a busy daily life can cause us to overlook and forget to do the small things we used to do that expressed our love.
However, if you’re truly concerned that he doesn’t love you anymore then there are certain signs to watch for – see if any of these seem familiar:
There can be understandable reasons for any of these unloving behaviors, so they need to each be considered in in the context of your entire relationship.
If you're seeing signs in your relationship that concern you, it’s important to remember that it takes two to tango as they say.
Before you sound the alarm and begin pondering things like,
take a step back and spend some time considering your own behavior.
Are you displaying any of the same behaviors?
One thing that’s true in all relationships is that we react to each other.
Angry or dismissive behavior by one person is often met with angry and dismissive behavior by the other.
So, it’s important to make sure you aren’t actually part of the problem before you determine that it’s all him.
If these behaviors become persistent, however, and you're confident you're doing your part, then it’s possible you’re actually seeing signs he doesn't love you anymore.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t get the love back, however. It will just take time, effort, and work on both of your parts.
It can also help to get the viewpoint of an unbiased, objective, trained person when you're trying to make this important determination, so consider couples counseling before you decide it’s over.
Ending your relationship isn’t a decision to make alone.
Feeling like you’re seeing signs he doesn't love you anymore can be extremely painful.
There’s nothing easy about feeling like the love you once shared has deteriorated or is gone. So, if you think you’re seeing signs he may not love you anymore, keep the following things in mind:
Most of all, remember there’s still hope. Seeing signs he doesn’t love you anymore doesn’t mean he can’t love you again.
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Editor's Note: This post was originally published May 31, 2014, updated on Dec ember 26, 2018, and updated again for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
You have this nagging feeling that your husband is no longer in love with you. Learn what to do next
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I'm the exact same. All boxes ticked. I know he doesn't love me. I feel like I'm his mother! Also it seemed to me at least he turned into a jerk around the time our kids graduated school. 24 years gone with no love from him what a waste of my life 🙁
24 years?? omg..I am about 11 years in and I am ready to go..he's been at his mom's for two weeks because I asked him to leave...I have just been working on being myself without mothering or submitting to him just being myself...and he is having a hard time with it..I think he is trying to ignore me now and I think I am just going to let this all go and not worry about it anymore...I am not going to lie though I have woken up in a fit of terrible fear and I keep stumbling but I think I have to let him go, let this life go, and find a new path forward. I hope you are ok..it's such a lonely place to be 🙁 with someone but alone I mean.
After 12 years, my husband finally decides to tell me he has not been in love with for the last five. And I saw the signs, I tried everything but he didn't because all this time he was not in love with me and I was to busy trying to make my marriage work to notice he was somewhere he did not want to be.
Hi, Shon; have you tried counseling together to see if you can work on this together? You have been together 12 years. Shame on him for not letting you know the moment he felt differently; stringing you along for 5 years, then lets you know. Counseling will help you both sort everything out together. Maybe this marriage can be saved.
Hello Lisa,i am so sorry to hear that but I think you should move on! He's just wasting your time and why he say you must send your pic an suddenly things change.Stop texting him an stop calling Ask God for the right one he will bless you.All the best
After 12yrs,my partner and I aren't married still..in Jan 2018 I left him after finding drugs and not just drugs but out of the blue type of thing he started and not have doing them before.He was mean and killing my heart and our kids so I moved a state away for 7mo..in short he showed up after 7mo at the hotel I was staying at while in town begging for us to start over and getting clean ectra..this was in Sept.the first 2mo were amazing and I fell more in love than ever..then,all the above signs started again..yet this time no emotion like he could careless what I do it if I was with another man even(im not)but the fact is he doesnt say a word of I don't sleep in bed anyone then acts like all is ok the next day. When I bring up his action and my feelings..he gets upset and turns it all on me..i m so lost and hurt and have no clue what to do..