You have this nagging feeling that your husband is no longer in love with you. Learn what to do next
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Contents
When we fall in love it's mainly our heart that we follow, not our brain. Our heart, fueled by the excitement of someone new, along with a heavy dose of hormones, allows us to focus on the best and most alluring aspects of this person and makes it hard to see anything else.
For some of us this flawed strategy on how to fall in love works out, and for others it doesn't.
Fast forward a few years. Once we’ve been married awhile, most of us discover that we didn't marry the person we thought we married (i.e. Prince Charming isn't always so charming).
Over time our partner's imperfections and flaws become more evident (or we finally acknowledge them) and our brain starts to take over. The brain effectively rips off the rose-colored glasses the heart handed to us and brings that ‘in-love’ feeling into question (Check out "I'm Out of Love" for more on that situation).
So, what do you do now? Is it possible to fall in love with your husband all over again? The short answer is yes, and possibly in a stronger, more long-lasting way than you might think.
Falling in love with your husband all over again when your brain says 'not so fast' isn't easy though. The following social media post will begin to show how.
The secret to a successful relationship is using both our heart and brain -- not one or the other, both.
Truly, this goes for when we're first falling in love, when we're in a relationship together, and when we need to fall back in love. And it’s where to start when trying to figure out how to fall in love with your husband again.
That’s a hard balance to strike, however. Just like at the beginning when your heart wanted to do all the work, once a relationship has some time on it the brain decides to do all the heavy lifting. When you approach your relationship without the right balance between heart and head it’s very hard to find satisfaction and happiness.
Many wives struggle with falling back in love with their husband because they're using too much of their brains. They’ve allowed things to get off-balance and are doing what they did at the beginning of the relationship, just in reverse.
At the beginning they used too much of their heart and not enough of their brain, and now they're using too much of their brain and not enough of their heart.
In order to fall in love with your husband over again, especially after kids, life problems, and likely seeing him at his worst, it requires exercising more heart, like compassion, understanding, and love, while simultaneously using less brain, like memories, fears, and self-protection.
And it also requires an open-mind along with a willing heart.
Note that I did not say using no brain. I just said less brain. So many partners can't muster any love for their partner because they're allowing their brains to block it. And some of the reasons for this are listed in the previous paragraph.
So, what can you do to start to “bring back that lovin’ feeling”?
Here are a couple of tips on how to begin to fall in love with your husband all over again:
Obviously, if your husband hasn't changed the things that caused you to fall out of love with him it's going to be really tough to fall in love again, especially when it seems like he doesn't love you back. But if he's making an effort to change himself, you can help the falling in love again process by using your heart more than your brain and discover other ways to fall in love with your spouse again.
It isn’t easy to fall in love with your husband all over again, unlike falling in love the first time. Our brains are very powerful, but so are our hearts. When you use both properly you can rekindle the love and keep it burning.
And a relationship that engages both heart and head is the strongest kind. So, if you are wishing you still felt “in-love” and wondering how to get those feelings back, do yourself, your husband, and your relationship a favor and make your heart and head work together better.
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Editor's Note: This post was originally published April 12, 2014 and has been updated with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
You have this nagging feeling that your husband is no longer in love with you. Learn what to do next
Many husbands (and wives) are not "in love" with their partners any longer.
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How can you make your husband fall in love again he says he is still in love with me but lacking desire and affection he buys me things and says I have always taken care of him but has a lack of interest in me I don’t know how to make him fall in love with me again I can see he is interested in other women even though he says he’s not it’s a vibe I see it feel it when he’s around other women in front of me
I don’t what to do to earn his love or affection back
Truly confussed whe. It comes to love I'd never give my self o. An emotionally actually attracted to someone else where my husband's on the back burner or intentionally emotionally cheat.im with a man who allowees his daughter to asault me my property to be distroyed things cut up chemical burns on my ski. When I used my proactive I also seen have a perm open so when I put on the cream i got the most severe welts it's not funny I was never respected when asking for certain boundries to be respected and I also knew cauae I put my hand in the wetness someone has sex in my and my husbands bed it stunk bad then he's got a friend named og that lives in Missouri but I over heard cause I recorded I recoreded my husband's friend John ask my husband are you happy to be getting out of Missouri now of has a wife with a girl friend the only person with a girl friend around my husband was his daughter so now I'm so confussed my husband is also on Facebook under his sons name but he texted his daughter and said so you messed with my brother so and so da it's the same person so for him to say that to his daughter I don't know if I'm being catfished I've never had my anything respected and I'm trying to be strong that a all has lead to mental diascumfort and embarrassment but I love him I've also think I fear he might be bi sexaul I've seen him glow talking to other men but never me he can walk right by my ass naked never let me lead during sx tell me to rest but if I don't wanna have sex I'd have to get out the bed.again I'm trying ro hang in there I really am it's hard he wants to get back together we never separated buy by address not relationship or marriage he won't give me the address where he's at I know he's doing it cause he feels he can I could leave I know this I don't need a man real talk but I'm in love though at the time I can't remember why I got a block for fear of emotional fall through I wanna see if he's with someone else and i wanna hit a private investigator and have home and the girls check just in case one may be a step daughter to him if not all the better but there's something I can't put my fingure on it he never even help buy things around the house now I'm not just being negitive I'm worrie sive been had he fail to show he's for me even told the police he don't know how I got in my own home to after we had sex that hurt it broke trust and I'm so f#$king hnsure of so much now I look like I'm lost I've lost self esteem and i never had a chance to have a beat friend in him or a love or a real kiss or more.yeah poor me this is f#$king crazy I've never intentionally not bonded or felt this way or been treated this way before