Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
The ever-changing world of technology and media has given the porn industry all new ways to reach people these days. The easy access to nearly anything you want to see means that anyone who wants to check out sexual images can do so anytime and anywhere. This also means that there has been an increase in internet porn addiction and the problems associated with it. But access to porn isn’t the only reason for porn becoming an addiction.
What drives an internet porn addiction?
These are the most common reasons for internet porn addiction. But there are other reasons that are often overlooked.
Why do men look at internet porn so habitually? Often, it is to relieve stress. Most men feel an enormous amount of stress trying to balance their work, family, and personal lives. On top of that, a lot of us guys are really bad at stress management. Men are notorious for keeping things to themselves and refusing to talk about what’s bothering them. Unfortunately, the bottling up of these emotions only compounds the stress they feel.
Internet porn provides a quick, easy, and enjoyable way to relieve tension. Why bother going to the gym or learning how to make lifestyle changes when the release of online porn is just a couple of clicks away on your computer or phone. As I said, it can be found anytime and anywhere. And, unfortunately, the prevalence of pornographic imagery in our society has made it feel like a very acceptable option. So using porn to manage stress has become an easy go-to for a majority of men.
Many men can also crave a certain amount, or a type, of physical intimacy that their partner isn’t willing to give. There are many reasons this can happen. This isn’t to say by any stretch that a man develops a porn addiction because his partner won’t please him. But a lack of sexual intimacy and the gravitation toward porn viewing can have a mutual cause and effect relationship.
Men who’s partners have lost interest in sex will often turn to porn rather than physically cheating. In their minds looking at porn is a better and more acceptable option than having an affair. And although there may be some truth to that, there’s also a very big BUT that goes along with it.
If there are intimacy issues in a relationship there are better, and more satisfying ways in the long run, to handle things. Porn isn’t a solution and it certainly won’t make things better. And for many, women especially, watching porn feels like cheating.
Even looking at porn “just a little bit,” or “for just a little while” can lead to bigger problems as time goes on. Internet porn is highly addictive for a number of reasons and with it being so easy to find anyone is vulnerable. And once a man has developed a porn addiction it can be really hard to keep or regain the intimacy in the relationship at all.
Dealing with a porn addiction can be tricky. Typically people don’t even realize they’ve become addicted. In their minds the reasons for watching porn are normal and there is noway their ‘habit’ could qualify as an addiction.
So, here are some recommendations:
If you’re a woman and you have a man with an internet porn addiction, try not to look at it just from a sexual point of view. Think about other reasons why he may be watching porn. You should also consider talking to him, or suggest he talk to an experienced counselor, about it. Bear in mind that talking about porn and the reasons for viewing it can be very embarrassing for a man. Be prepared for him to be defensive, so use the most gentle and understanding approach you can.
If you’re a man who struggles an internet porn addiction, also consider other reasons you may be looking at porn. If you’re using it for stress management, think about a better alternative, one that comes with less secrecy, guilt, and shame. If it’s a sexual intimacy issue, try taking time to talk with your partner about what’s going on and what steps you could take together to bring the intimacy back. Keep in mind that your porn habit may make the woman in your life feel insecure and as though she isn’t good enough. And she may not understand at all the reasons why you've been watching porn.
Here's the key to dealing with internet porn addiction: Understanding what's really driving our behavior. This understanding will then give you the secrets to change it. If you need additional help understanding the reasons you’re addicted to porn and ways to break the addiction, you can learn more about addictions to porn here.
Editor's Note: This post was originally published August 22, 2012 and has been updated with new information for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Women ask Why Does My Boyfriend Watch Porn Then Want Sex With Me? See what a relationship counselor for men says about men Watching Porn And Wanting Sex,
Wondering if Porn Is Cheating? Find out what psychology experts say about whether Porn Is Cheating.
Breaking a porn addiction isn’t easy. Learn how to handle relapses here.
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My husband is 70 years old I'm 48 he say he don't want to have sec anymore, is ben almost a year since we had sex. I notice he watches porn and I'm very angry and confused of why he don't want me instead. I feel cheated.
Please advised
Rose, Porn addiction is complicated, and hard to admit to if one even realizes they are addicted. You can't make him quit - he has to want to. Read the other articles in the Porn Addiction and Sexual Problems categories on the right for some ideas and suggestions of what to do. -Kurt
This is a disgusting comment. As is the one from Frank claiming that it is because the women stop having sex, I have been with my man 2 and a half years and we've been intimate very much for the best part of our relationship, some times we may go slightly longer periods with out but soon make up for it when given a chance then it's back to at least once a day if not more, he has never been able to last long (at all) and this too remains the case. However regardless I found out that he also has been turning to porn behind my back, since the very start of our relationship... So how is this due to lack of sex or being pushed away. I too like most women here feel cheated and like I'm not good enough and since finding out it has put a massive strain on our relationship and consequently began to destroy what was once a good and healthy sex life... But it's our fault of course.
Zoe, Not sure which comment you're referring to as "disgusting". Addiction to porn is far more complicated than not having sex with a partner or placing blame. Porn is like a drug, and there are side effects and one can become addicted - and many men don't realize that. -Kurt
Kurt,
She is probably referring to my complete honesty. I am no where near shy or prude. I am stating proven facts it's not always the woman to blame.
Here recently I have learned that a man feels love when he is respected and trusted.
Women feel love when they are appreciated and given attention. These..
These two go hand and hand. Men tend to punish women by withdrawing their affection. The women withdraw their trust and respect.
You as a spouse have to decide whether you will break the cycle and choose your spouse or to walk away.
I have found transexual porn twice and downloaded as well and he says it's that the other regular porn got boring so to speak we got married just two years ago and I'm still finding porn and also now today found he looked at personal ads for woman escorts I have never in my life had this issue always had a man that wanted me more I am a porn star in bed don't get it at all
Porn is very addicting and I had no idea how much until I did all of my research. My husband stopped initiating and even turned me down when I would come to him naked. I made comments that I would really like to have sex. Whenever he was with me, he couldn't stay, look up PIED. The issue was not me, I consider myself very attractive and femine, only 120 and very sexually open...I'm getting a divorce because I refuse to live in a sexless marriage. For a man in his late 30's, unfortunately he gets a better orgasm to to masterbating to teens, it's a sad reality and the person who could stop would be him.
Hi Casey
I have been married for 8 years now to a man whom in my eyes was the perfect man any women could ever ask for. I recently found out that he has been watching porn and sexually chatting to other women on social media . I saw these messages once and since I have been monitoring there chats he deletes them now.
Our sex life hasn't been the greatest latly as he does not get as hard for me as he used to, or does he initiate intimacy.
I am really worried about else he will do. Please advise
Thanks this chance hope i may be answered how to say to my ex i cant go next one please merci me end up insane in the midle.10year we couldnt exchage words of love at all.i feel must be a way out well know one day.why not now?she can be wrong too psycopat f.ct up or continue preten enjoying her cruelty just because doubts & denials.