Overthinking in a relationship is a problem, but it’s not unbeatable. Use the tips below, to stop spiraling through the cycle of overthinking in your relationship.
Do any 'new' relationship problems really exist or are they just the same old problems arising in a different form? For example, "we can't communicate" is a common complaint, so is text fighting a new problem or just a new version of the age-old communication problem?
At Guy Stuff Counseling we strive to stay on the front lines of solving relationship problems. Our website, blog, forum, and counseling allow us to do just that, but we don't always hear about every issue as soon as it begins, so we're asking for your help.
Guy Stuff director, Kurt Smith, wants your help. He's looking for topics for future blog posts that we haven't covered yet. As you review our website and blog, what topics do you see missing? You can see the topics we've covered in the Browse by Topic list on the right side of this page. What problems are you facing, or have heard others struggling with, that we haven't written about?
Here are a couple of topics and questions we have to give you an idea of what advice we're looking for from you:
Please leave a comment below and suggest a topic or two that you'd like to see Kurt respond to in future blog articles. A little explanation of why you're suggesting the subject would really help, but please keep it to a paragraph or less. Relationship problems happen to all of us, so thank you for helping us to help you as well as the rest of us have healthier and happier relationships.
Overthinking in a relationship is a problem, but it’s not unbeatable. Use the tips below, to stop spiraling through the cycle of overthinking in your relationship.
Overthinking is like being on a mental hamster wheel – lots of energy expended, ultimately getting you nowhere.
Struggling with How To Love A Woman? Get some Relationship Advice on Love from a marriage counselor. See how Women Say They Want To Be Loved.
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My husband is 56 and we are experiencing prostate and serious debt problems. I caught him sexting my older sister, asking, almost begging her for sex. He told me first, And said it started out months ago behind my back as just texting problems only then turned to him asking for sex. He explained it to me that, he was so frustated, that one he started he couldn't stop. He just wanted out of the bills and the marriage. What is your take on this. Is it midlife crisis? P.S. Hes still here and nothing ever happened.
Yvonne, Your situation sounds complicated and I don’t know enough about it to give specific advice here in the limited space on this forum. It may well be a midlife crisis, and if so, that is something he will have to work through. In the meantime, that doesn't mean you have to just tolerate his inappropriate behavior and you can reach out to a professional counselor if you need support. -Kurt
How about this for a new relationship problem... I have been dating a really wonderful man for a few months now and it's been smooth sailing until lately. My divorce from my ex will finally be final a week from today and his divorce will be finally final soon as well (we met after splitting with our respective spouses - both of whom were emotionally abusive). In the last month, I've noticed a shift in our relationship and I don;t know if it's really that I'm feeling an imaginary wedge between us, or if it's caused by something else. I've thought and overthought about what it could be and the overthinking has caused its own problems. I really love him and he says he loves me (he shows me as well), so I want to work through this the best I can. Keep in mind that I am a communicator through words and he communicates better through actions.
I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this, but here I go. My wife and I have been together for a little over two years now and we recently embraced marriage number "Four" for the both of us. We have had problems, but love for each other is not one of them. When we are alone... Neither of us are into PDA, but her love is special and comes to me hidden, disguised, and even secretive at times. For instance, we got married in September 2015 and she still proudly carries her ex ex-husbands last name and get angry when changing it is a topic of conversation. I've only asked her to return to her maiden name. To add to the frustration, she refuses to tell anyone in her life that we are married. She is very deliberate to hide it and remove her rings when around her kids or friends. They all know we live together, that we are a couple, and that I fully support her emotionally and financially while she goes to school. On the other side, she is very okay with telling my family and friends we're married. I'm hurt and even angry at myself for being a part of such a demoralizing experience. I can't believe I'm willingly married to a woman who refuses to leave ex ex-husbands name and one who refuses to admit she's married to me. This is a very emasculating experience, but I'm doing it to myself. Yes, I love her, but I'm at my wit's end. Am I the one who's wrong here? I am by no means perfect, which is likely why I'm on my fourth marriage. Note: She and I met in the horizon of two nasty divorces.
John, Do you know why she won't change her name? Do her kids have the same last name? It's hard to have a successful marriage when it's a secret. I think it would be really beneficial to find a professional marriage therapist to help you both work through these issues. -Kurt
She says that she is in love with me but not in love.. she says that she will not look for another partner intill I look for one.. and I see her in school everyday and I'm changing the way I act toward everyone around me better.. I was usually grumpy. And I'm just changing for the better so I can be with her but it's just really hard not to text her and tell her that I love her that I want to get married and have kids with her. It's extremely unbearable. But I don't know if I should be myself to her at school or should I just be civil, only speak to her when spoken too. I just don't know how much longer I can take not being with her. I love this girl with all my heart and I dont know what I should do to get her back.. I'm just starting to have no hope in ever being with her again
Justice, We can only control our own actions, but we can only make changes to ourselves if we want to, not because someone else asks us to. Read the articles in Love Is Gone and Relationship Advice on the right of this page for some suggestions. -Kurt