Sharon didn't like it when she saw that her husband had received a friend invite on Facebook from an ex-girlfriend. She told him she wanted him to delete it. Jeff took a couple of weeks to get around to it. Sharon was ticked. Fortunately, Sharon and Jeff were already in marriage counseling, but this didn't help the progress we were making.
Kevin said he feels disrespected by his girlfriend because she has some party pictures on her Facebook page and she has told him he has to deal with it. He's struggling with what he feels is a double standard since he took some similar pictures off of his page when they got back together and believes there's no way she'd tolerate his keeping his pictures up.
Daren got reconnected with a girl he knew in college on Facebook. One thing led to another and he cheated on his wife. When his wife discovered the text messages, he called for counseling help to put his marriage back together.
These are just some of the marriage problems I've worked with recently that arose from Facebook.
Many people try to reunite online because it's so easy, says Nancy Kalish, a professor of psychology at Cal State Sacramento and author of the book Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romance.
Kalish says most people go looking for lost loves, initially, out of curiosity. First loves in particular are most often sought out online, she says, and they pose the most danger to real-world relationships for two reasons: biological and emotional."
Her advice to the social networking crowd is simple:
"It's not enough to have a good marriage. My rule is, if you are married or in a serious relationship, you are not available. Don't contact your lost love. Understand that these are old feelings and that who your lost love was years ago is not who they are today."
Here's 5 Suggestions to Protect Your Marriage While Social Networking from K. Jason & Kelli Krafsky of the Full Marriage Experience blog:
- Set Safeguards With Your Mate
- Don't Post Negative Things About Your Spouse
- Choose Your Friends Wisely
- Play It Smart With Who You Talk About What With
- If In Doubt, Unfriend Them
Check out Jason and Kelli's suggestions in more detail here: Is Facebook a Cyber Threat to Your Marriage?
What do you think? Is Facebook and a problem for marriages?
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