Counseling Men Blog
Advice for men – and the women who love them!

Feeling Alone In A Relationship Really Hurts

Posted by Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Sat, Dec 07, 2013

Feeling lonely is one of the worst pains we can experience. One of the few things that is actually worse is feeling alone in a relationship.

Sadly, a lot of people experience this pain. What makes it so hurtful is that a relationship is supposed to provide the opposite feeling of lonely. So the contradiction of feeling alone in a relationship leads to confusion, discontent, and even hopelessness. If we can't feel connected when in a relationship with someone who's supposed to love us, then what hope is there that we'll ever not feel alone?

Here's a post I wrote on my Google+


 

Feeling alone in a relationship is not just a problem -- it's also a call to action. It's a warning sign that something's wrong and needs to be fixed. But too often it's accepted and ignored.

I find that most people accept feeling lonely in their relationship way too long. At first, it may not even look like you're alone as much as that there are compatibility problems, or divergent interests, or sex drive differences (Together But Still Alone). But over time these individual problems begin to add up, multiply, and become a generalized feeling about the relationship as a whole.

It's really important that we're proactive about addressing problems in our relationships. Just like it's not smart to ignore the engine warning on the dash of your car, the same goes to the warning signs at home. We all know that if we disregard that dash light it'll cost us more later on.

If you're feeling alone in a relationship, do something about it. If you don't know what to do, that's okay, just ask someone who will know. Relationship experts are available to help you if you're only willing to see the warning sign and act.

Please share your experiences or thoughts on loneliness in relationships by commenting below. If you like this post, you can sign-up on the right side of this page to get notified of each new post. You can also circle and follow me on Google+ (Kurt Smith on Google+) as I post daily relationship and self-improvement tips just like this one.

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