Counseling Men Blog - Free Advice for Men

Mid-life Crisis - What Triggers a Mid-life Crisis?

Share

 

Part 2 of 2

What triggers a mid-life crisis?  Does it just come out of no where, or does something cause mid-life to go from a transition to a crisis?

This is the second part of the two-part series examining mid-life crisis in men.  Read the first post Midlife Crisis - Facts & Fiction for some signs of what a mid-life crisis looks like.

Here are some descriptions of a mid-life crisis by a few more experts:

If you talk to middle-aged men and women who have experienced divorce, you will find that many of them will tell you their spouse changed overnight and became someone who discarded all that was once important to him for a new life that was all about what he wanted.

A mid-life crisis was first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung and is a normal part of the maturing process. Most people will experience some form of emotional transition during that time of life. A transition that might cause you to take stock in where you are in life and make some needed adjustments to the way you live your life. Most seem to come through the process smoothly without making major life changes.

Most people who have a difficult time during mid-life and go into crisis mode do so because of external factors. They may be experiencing stress in their life that makes the transition more difficult or they may have childhood issue that were never dealt with that come to the surface during this time. Some external factors that may cause this time in life to be problematic are:

•  Debt: Finding yourself middle aged, in debt and facing retirement can add stress to an already stressful time in life.  A person who is finding it difficult emotionally during midlife might find it easier to walk away from their family in order to rid himself of what he feels is the cause of all the debt.
•  Significant Loss: The death of a parent or family member can cause grief, which is difficult enough to come to terms with, without having to also cope with the feelings of a mid-life transition. Put the loss of a loved one with the feelings that accompany mid-life and the whole process becomes bewildering and overwhelming.
•  Avoidant Personality: If a person has a tendency to avoid conflict in their personal relationships, suffers from feelings of inadequacy, are emotionally distant and has low self–esteem they will find mid-life transition harder to navigate.

For some, a mid-life crisis is more complicated. It can be an uncomfortable time emotionally which can lead to depression and the need for psychotherapy. Those who have a hard time with this transitional stage might experience a range of feelings such as:

•  Unhappiness with life and the lifestyle that may have provided them with happiness for many years.
•  Boredom with people and things that may have been of interest to them before.
•  Feeling a need for adventure and change.
•  Questioning the choices, they have made in their lives and the validity of decisions they made years before.
•  Confusion about who they are and where they are going.
•  Anger at their spouse and blame for feeling tied down. •  Unable to make decisions about where they want to go with their life.
•  Doubt that they ever loved their spouse and resentment over the marriage.
•  A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.

Are you a man struggling with any of these?  There's help available.  Get the guidance of a counselor who works with mid-life crisis in men.  Learn how to change your mid-life crisis into a transition to a better stage in your life.

See Related Post: Midlife Crisis - Facts & Fiction

Source: About.com - Mid-life Crisis - What Is A Mid-life Crisis?

Midlife Crisis - Facts & Fiction

Share

 

Part 1 of 2

Midlife crisis -- what's it really look like?  We've all heard the jokes about the middle-aged man who wakes up one day and suddenly decides to radically change his life by quitting his job, buying a red sports car, and finding a new, younger wife. 

Is it true that's what a midlife crisis really looks like?  What are the facts about midlife crisis and what's fiction?  In particular, what does a midlife crisis in men most often look like? 

Here are some descriptions of midlife crisis by a few experts:

• A midlife crisis might occur anywhere from about age 37 through the 50s, he says Dan Jones, PhD, who has researched adult development and transitions.
• The crisis or transition tends to occur around significant life events, he says, such as your youngest child finishing college, or a "zero" birthday announcing to the world that you're entering a new decade.  "The death of parents can be a marker, too, for these midlife events," Jones says.
• "The stereotype is a man buys a red sports car," he says. That's not always the case, of course, but Jones says men do seem more intent on wanting to prove something.  Men might gauge their worth by their job performance, he says. They may want to look successful, for instance, even though their achievements don't measure up as they had hoped.
• In a midlife crisis, people need to be aware of symptoms of serious depression, such as:
  • Change in eating habits
  • Change in sleeping habits, fatigue
  • Feelings of pessimism or hopelessness
  • Restlessness, anxiety or irritability
  • Feeling of guilt, helplessness or worthlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, including sex and hobbies
  • Thoughts of suicide or attempts at suicide
  • Physical aches or pains such as headaches or gastrointestinal upset that don't respond to treatment

Do you know a man in midlife crisis?  If so, get some expert guidance on how to help him.  A good part of my work in counseling men is in supporting their partners through such situations.  Find a counseling men expert to help you with midlife crisis in men.

* This is the first article of two defining midlife crisis.  Sign-up for our blog on the right side of this page and be sure not to miss the next article (you can get notified by email or RSS feed).

Source: WebMD - Midlife Crisis: Transition or Depression?